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Ive been saying for nearly 5 months now, his brother has said “dude leave her be she doesnt need anymore humans touching her, shes carrying around one 24/7 and constantly has (my toddlers name) climbing over her…. Just leave her” because he saw how uncomfortable i was and since then he has never hugged me infront of anyone else. Its always when its just me and him in a room.
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His disposable income is probably like 2k+ per month. His parents paid for his studies too, so no loans. Even his car they bought outright and he pays them back a bit at a time. He doesn’t pay for food or bills or rent.
After all those months I still don't know how to react, any ideas?
This is the only answer, OP. Run, girl.
It’s not a partnership, you are his sex doll. You need to make it clear that this needs to start happening, if that means couples therapy, sex therapy, etc. If he’s too “embarrassed” for that, then it’s clear he isn’t interested in fixing the issue.
Honestly, I am offended for all woman that he casts you aside and gives you permission to get yourself off while he leaves?! No to this, it degrading and disrespectful.
So he had one bad experience, it’s not your job to pay for the sins of others. Also, saying he doesn’t want to try anything “new”…getting you off should not be seen as new or adventurous…it’s the bare minimum.
All that being said, you need to over communicate here, as he has now had 3 years of this being fine. Let him know this is a deal breaker if he doesn’t consistently try, if he won’t talk openly with you about it, and if he won’t go to therapy.
I was in a marriage where sex was few and far between, and not great when it did happen, with him not wanting to talk about it because it’s “embarrassing”. Once I finally got out, I’ve never been happier, and have had a very fun and healthy sex life. I will never go back to that, not ever. It’s emotional abuse if they won’t talk if change anything, and are only in for themselves.
Set some boundaries and some expectations that aren’t going to be let go this time.
“Figure it out” makes me think this is less some kind of honest decision about her body, and more a game she is playing with you. Is she in general manipulative?
But either way, the reason doesn't really matter that much. It could be very good, or completely bullshit – at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is: are you okay with a romantic relationship without sex? If you are not, then you guys are no longer compatible. I would leave.
For me, I do not like plans changing on me short term, so I'd definitely not love that situation. I don't think you're overreacting, your reaction seems very reasonable to me – and it's great that you communicated your feelings to him! He was right to apologise. Now the important thing is that the next date is time that's fully reserved for you, imo.
If I was living rent free I wouldn't hesitate to throw in for repairs or even outright cover them if they were reasonable.
I’m so sorry, saw your update though and I think it’s a good call. I know I personally would no longer feel comfortable in the relationship.
He does text me first though in the mornings usually. Like everyday he texts me. Its just the planning and other stuff thats the issue. But we do text a lot. I will try not making plans next time and see what happens.
That's practical. 2 males at first try! How convenient. ?
Dump his ass, he already threatened to dump you, drop the Uno reverse card!
Oh. This is NOT SUSTAINABLE. You cannot be with a man for two years and feel like another women is waiting in the wings.
Btw right now they are having a heated conversation about the exterior politics of Turkey and the franco-african relationships. :/ I feel like a kid in the middle of an adult conversation, she tries to include me asking me for the politics of my own country but she knows that better than myself. Fortunately my cat meowed in the garden and I used that as an excuse to come outside. Aaaaa I really feel out of place ?