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Simple. Do you like to eat? Then learn to cook.
I completely understand what you're saying, just find it difficult to shake that feeling.
Another thing I've realised is the only place I could go atm is my dads. He adores my fiancé and whilst he does listen when I complain, he always just responds with, “You've got a gooden there, just try and make it work”. Could not be assed hearing that daily if I had to move in there
The husband needs to go, but I'm sure OP could make herself useful round her sister, who probably needs all the help she can get right now.
Do you ask your guy friends to cuddle up with you when you aren't feeling well or just the woman friend you're in love with?
I took a vacation trip with a girl best friend and we definitely booked rooms with two beds because neither of us were looking for an excuse for extra physical contact.
I'm guessing she just went along with things in the moment to not make it more awkward. And now that she's back in her own space, maybe feels swindled by your “I just wanna be friends! But hey BTW let's share a bed and please snuggle up with me to make me feel better”.
This is work place sexual harassment, you need to go to HR and ask how to handle this. The firm is going to be liable if this goes badly and you already feel uncomfortable.
Men don't cheat on women they love.
Source: Man who cheated on plenty of women he didn't love but is with one now that he does and there's zero temptation or want to cheat.
End this relationship and be better in future.
Sure she can want to stay together, but the trust is broken. She'll always remember that you cheated and it will likely be used against you a lot in the future. On top of that, you've gotten away with it once, and like an addict you'll try to get away with it again. (Source: been there, done that).
I had the same kind of issue of working a lot (thing 60-70 hours week) for the same company for 10 years without any promotion, and sometimes, my nude work actually counting against me in the evaluations. I accumulated a lot of frustration, which certainly impacted my family. Also, being a single breadwinner, not getting significant salary raise mean we have to be more careful on spending (to give an example, I cannot afford to go skiing with my children whereas in France, it is quite typical for white collars to do that).
I considered changing jobs, and I had a few interviews, some of the positions offered (but not all) were higher responsibility and higher pay, all of them involved moving somewhere else. However, in the end, I stayed at the same company because I like the place I live!, I realize my current position is not so bad and also because my company is full of passionate people and we have products I really love. I should mention also there is a real comfort in working at the same place for 10 years or more as I know all the ropes.
I could manage to get from my job something worthwhile, even if not a promotion: I got trained to a new role in a more respected part of the company (which I got because a manager noticed how well I was working on the previous position), and I could manage to work a little bit less. Now, I feel quite happy, but the key was really to realize that staying was my choice, and that I made a choice of working in a place with less promotion opportunities but other advantages. Another key was realizing how corporations work (performance cannot be really evaluated, so promotion was merit-based), but that staying in a big corporation was my choice also as it bring comfort also (quite nice salary, job safety, some perks). Last factor to get back to happiness was sharing the financial situation with my spouse, and she agreed she loved the place we are living (close to sea resorts…), and she is OK with being careful with spending.
I think the journey I went through could be some kind of template for you.
Suspicious to ME. BUT a lot of people are okay with this nowadays. I could never be with someone who’s phone I can’t grab at any moment to google something call someone even look through pics whatever. And I would never hide my phone from my guy.
Come ON!! Get out of your head. I (49F) think you need to just look at it like exactly what it is…and you said it yourself…”she bought a toy for US”. I mean… Now the time to actually think like you are? If she wants to use it every single time! Then and ONLY then shouid you even give it a second thought. Otherwise…throw it on and have fun! The alternative is you freaking out and ruining your relationship over a perceived slight! Don't!
What a psychopath!