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NATASHA, 19 y.o.
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You're in an abusive relationship, please seek help from friends and family if you can to help you leave him or look into resources to help you. You need to leave him, report him for stealing your car and block him otherwise he's just going to continue to ruin your life
First, I hope you understand that these are your feelings to work through. It's not your girlfriend's job to maintain her existence to be the most pleasing and attractive to you personally in every way at all times.
Second, I would suggest you get to the bottom of WHY it bothers you so much. What makes short hair unattractive to you, and long hair attractive? Why has this one physical change completely switched how you feel towards your girlfriend?
Because it's really important to understand a person's body goes through a lot of change over the course of a lifetime (some slow and some abruptly). If you can't manage your feelings about a haircut that is a few inches shorter than you anticipated, you're in for a really rough ride.
For your reflection, how would you feel if your girlfriend lost her hair from an illness or injury? Would you be equally upset? If you think you could deal with that, why is it ok when it's involuntary but not ok when she chooses it?
You've got a lot of work to do to sort yourself out, good luck.
I’m sorry you’re going through that. It’s really unfair to ask a child to choose between their parents. You are not responsible.
What you can say is that: your dad isn’t her ex husband and she cannot take your relationship from you. But you can separate those moments and never discuss it with her (which could imply lying and hiding things but it’s not like she’s giving you any choice…).
I am in a situation where my father is really unfaithful, always have been. Parents still together and sometimes my mom snaps and gives me a call to trash him and tell me what a POS he is. And then out of the blue she’ll be like « you should call your dad more, we only have one dad ». It drives me kind of cray but I’ve decided to just do my life and not listen. Even if it’s hot. It’s somehow harder for her. Healing from this kind of betrayal can be a lifetime job… but it’s not my journey to judge. Maybe you can identify where you’re at and how you feel and what you need and discuss it with your mother.
Good luck with everything.
Thank you for the summary! I tend to ramble
For what it’s worth, I highly encourage you to read about the science behind being blackout drunk, what happens the the person’s mind and how that inhibits their ability to function and make decisions. You say that you can’t believe your sister would do this to you, and to a point that wasn’t really your sister who did that, not the sister you know and love. Lacking the ability to retain memory, removes a frame of reference for decision making in the moment, meaning your sister was unable to give consent. Understanding what happens to the mind when blackout drunk might help you in how you approach your sister.
As for your husband, based on the limited information you provided, he saw an opportunity and chose to date rape your sister.
Until the day you die, you have authority over your own body. Full stop. Your asshole of a husband is raping you.
I mean given the circumstance I'd say you probably handled it better than 90% of people in your shoes. Also…. I don't think there's a chance in hell that your husband isn't at least bi. He might not want to admit it because he probably hasn't even come to terms with it himself yet (or maybe saying it out loud makes it real) but I for sure think maybe some sort of therapy in the future could help him reconcile his true feelings. I personally don't know a straight man on planet earth that would spontaneously have sex with another and enjoy it to those lengths. All I'm saying is you guys have a lot to unpack here. Best of luck.