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Well he’s cheating on you, and since he gave you stds, he’s probably cheating on you with multiple other women (or men) I’d recommend the ol’ “thanks for giving me chlamydia you pos, hope it was worth it” and walking out the door.
But she's not you.
You're making the classic mistake of thinking “put yourself in their shoes” means asking “what would I do in this situation”, vs it really means think in their mindset.
Your dad made the choice. He has to be the one to un-make the choice. I wouldn’t ask either.
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GREAT advice! Thank you!
What happened to them. How did they end the relationship?
Ooooh that makes so much sense
You have absolutely no understanding of relationship dynamics
Yes of course I would have the same reaction
You know, if he hadn’t created a stupid, arbitrary rule about a number that doesn’t mean a lot, you wouldn’t feel the need to hide things.
You really could clap back & tell him you’ll be devoted to him as long as he weighs more than you. Everybody needs to hit the gym.
Did she cheat for meth money?
when i’ve brought it up to friends and family they say this is a no-brainer
Reads rest of post.
Your friends and family are correct, this is a no-brainer.
Is your boyfriend using the dog as a convenient excuse to avoid having sex?
I didnt say she was selfish for not wanting sex. Her body her choice. She is selfish for not letting him watch porn to jerk off because of her personal preference. Which is probably cause by her religious upbringing. I also believe his body his choice. He respected her boundaries and wanted her blessing. And the least she could've done is give her blessing. But she didn't do that. Relationships are about giving and taking. If one person is doing all the compromising, then it isn't a partnership. It's him giving into her continuously until he got fed up with the lack of compromising. Withholding her blessing makes her selfish in that moment.
He may be cheating, but this isn’t a criminal trial.
To be honest until the end your behavior raised more red flags than his. He’s your “everything” which sounds a bit codependent. You speak on the phone over a dozen times per day, you track his location constantly, you go through his messages, respond to his coworkers, and he’s under constant surveillance down to the minute.
And all of this behavior was because he spoke to a coworker about totally normal things. You never trusted him to begin with, otherwise you wouldn’t feel the need to constantly spy on him. You make unilateral demands about who he is allowed to be friends with.
You didn’t even have a conversation about this person when you found the first texts — you immediately demanded he cut them off and expected him to obey without question. That level of control does not sound healthy.
I speak to male coworkers about normal things sometimes. If my boyfriend went through my phone and then announced I am no longer “allowed” to have any non-work related talk with someone we would have a big fucking problem. I am open to compromising and working through insecurities, but the idea that I don’t have any agency in my own interactions with people would be a huge red flag.
Generally, if you treat someone as if they’ve already committed a crime, after awhile at some point the thought will cross their mind they may as well get something out of it if they’re going to be punished either way.
I do not condone his latter behavior. But you sound more than a little controlling and I don’t think this marriage was as healthy as you claim. It’s possible he’s having an affair, or it’s possible he’s talking with a friend about how to leave a bad marriage.
Texting his coworker back to fuck off, accusing them of having intentions towards your spouse, and destroying their phone over an innocuous message is not a typical reaction of a stable individual. Especially if their was no prior history of infidelity. I agree the time was not appropriate, but that’s when you talk to your spouse and look into counseling.
I think regardless of what happens or has happened you should try talking to a therapist yourself.