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I’d tell her to back off and cut contact. Probably wouldn’t hurt for both of you to block her. If she keeps harassing your husband, report it as that is stalking and completely unhinged behavior. Yikes what a pathetic lady
Real life is not like the movies. Women don't lay in bed for days writing in a diary, wondering what went wrong, or plotting how to get revenge etc etc.
Not all women who get rejected will be upset about it for more than a few days. Or even be upset at all! Sure, rejection hurts and it's not fun to reject someone either, but that doesn't mean that life stops or you change your daily habits as to not run into someone!
She's being mature and very much civil. And you my guy, need to stop being the one overthinking this! I can promise you that any woman you go on a date with later will for sure notice this behaviour. If you keep doing this, glancing over etc, whenever you run into somebody you've hooked up with/dated. And it will definitely not be appreciated.
Online and let on-line, my guy. I'm the nicest way possible, no one cares as much as you think.
Its funny how people are so quick to call you controlling and insecure lol. From whats described in this post it seems like you have been nothing but respectful to this girl about this whole situation. As for the solution there isn’t really one. You have communicated what you are uncomfortable with and she has decided to still do what she wants (which is completely okay). Seems like you guys are incompatible.
This is weird. Girl leave!
You could take this as an opportunity to have some fun.
This is just too much “connection” between people who are near strangers. Of course he's not going to commit to anything before he even meets you in person. Someone's looks, mannerisms, smells and pheromones are just too important to attraction for him to believe some good conversations will mean a lasting romance. You're pushing too hard for something no rational person could give you under the circumstances. Like it or not, sexual attraction and compatibility are just too essential to a relationship to assume in someone you've never met. So maybe try to pull back a little bit. You're going to put so much pressure on him that he'll decide it's not even worth meeting you.
You should just you can't make them care about you. Being related isn't magic spell that compels person to care.
Finally you should know, there is fair chance they are having sex. Are they in relationships? I still remember this post from a sister that had child with her brother despite being in relationship (relationship was just a false flag from the start, though the poor soul didn't know it).
We look the same, we talk the same, we even fuck the same. All 300 million of us. Congrats, you're practically a sociologist at this point and you've truly figured “Americans” out.
Or it could be because they were from an old phone and they were from a long time ago he just didn't think about it and was not paranoid to hand her the phone. If he did indeed make those videos recently while dating her and he handed her the phone with no hesitation he's a complete moron.
Those are pretty big things, OP. Any one of them seems like you could work it individually, and if they’re all low level concerns maybe it’s fine, but solving all of them if they’re all serious seems very hard.
Questions: do you resolve conflict well? Do you make some friends you both like or find interesting and who share your values? Do you share values around money? Do you still like each other?
Those are other qs to ask yourself. I do know successful happy couples that have some of all these issues and are happy fwiw. One couple I’m thinking of, they laugh together, are best friends and cheerleaders for each other, and have mostly the same friends. They have kids and pets they enjoy taking care of together. One spouse is more career oriented and one is more domestic for now.
1) They have relatives on both sides they have to have boundaries around, but one spouse is better at keeping the boundaries. They have family on one side they like better. For the messy family, the other spouse learned to be better at boundaries with therapy, but it took her having kids in her 30s to find her backbone.
2) I’d guess for 2, they’re both very accepting but one spouse is a bit harder on people.
3) One spouse is much more intellectually and physically active. One is more active in the community. The less physically active one goes through periods where she gets fit but fitness is not a shared hobby.
For 4) they learned to have more separate friends over time and to deal with jealousy better. The more jealous spouse will always deal with anxiety though.
They really are quite happy from what I can tell. If you choose this, it could be a solid/good life. There might be better. Of course there’s always worse. If you want kids soon, maybe this is the life you want to choose.
However, you’re asking wise questions and only you can make the choice. You are both relatively young though and just settling into your adult selves.
I think you shouldn’t ask her to move for you unless you’re not committed to a possibility of a future with you. And maybe a therapist or trusted elder in your community can help you sort through whether you want to explore the next step with her or break up.