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OP, have you had this discussion when you’re both awake and out of the bedroom? That’s the best time to tell him that you stayed awake and he still shook you and said you were shaking the bed. Do you have an spare bedroom so you can sleep separately? I’ve woken my bf up as sometimes I sleep talk and move around, but only a few times a year rather than a few times a month/week!
You’re right, I read his response to quickly.
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I appreciate your thoughtful reply to my comment because it helps provide a clearer picture, although I'm still not going to say whether you did anything wrong.
What should i do? Apologize? maintain that i didn't do anything wrong? can i do anything to get him to see my side?
I was a career mediator and one of the first things I did to help people settle their disputes was make sure they were asking the right questions. Based on the picture now available from everything you wrote, I think you're asking the wrong questions, OP. I think the question you truly need to answer is this:
“Why at age 26 am I still with a guy that doesn't trust me, doesn't share interest in things I love to do, forces me to not do them just because other men will be present, is causing problems with my friendships with females, forces me to compromise on so many things that I'm tired of always compromising, and goes through my phone (presumably to see if he can find reasons to justify his distrust for you)?
He already is who he's gonna bee when he grows up, right? In other words, I suspect there's no reason to expect that he's ever going to change. The other question you should be asking yourself is whether you're okay living your life under these circumstances.
I know you said you were going to break up with her but maybe wait/don’t. 9 years is a lot of time to spend with someone while waiting to get married… after that time they break up and then he starts dating someone else and proposes within a year. She probably has very mixed feelings about this not necessarily feeling for him. I would sit down with her and ask why this has hit her so nude, let her know how this makes you feel. I don’t think its a reason to break up with someone.
Based on these replies OP, it sounds like she's right to a small degree.
It doesn't sound like you're trying to make her feel included. You know she doesn't like children, or rather resents them to a degree, so rather than finding something where she has the option to be included, or bare minimum ask if she'd like to join, you're just denying her the option.
You go see her, but it sounds like you do so alone. Does your wife join at all? Do you invite her to dinner as a family outside of holidays? Do you invite her to parties or other family vacations?
I know it's a lot of questions, but you don't have to answer them all, just ideas.
Agreed! Just gotta make sure both parties are on the same page and communicate honestly and openly if anything changes for either of you
Just because you put effort in doesn’t mean you just automatically deserve to be included. The owner gets to choose and he made his choice. You live! with it or you leave?
It's done.
? So dramatic
Yeah. He obviously wanted to cover something up… But I'm still scared of raising it. It sucks haha.
Thanks for taking the time to reply, I appreciate it.