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No, the willingness to work naked and help take care of the (future) family matters..
Again, not logic. So sorry, OP, but you are not sahing things that are “logical.” You are saying things that are full of insecurity and projection into anothers' mind (not logical at all), and getting wound up. Logic would be lke “welp, I can't cast myself into another person's mind, and I trust my husband, so I'm just not going to worry about this because worry won't change things one way or another. Worry will not save me.”
Is she your backup or something? Backup bang? Backup relationship? If so, tell your friend you would appreciate if they didn't. You can't stop them though. If she isn't your backup anything, then why do you care? It's been 2 years!
I’m unsure what sort of advice you want, any “possessive” and “abusive” guy likes to isolate their partner from friends. If you distance yourself, you’re leaving your friend in a totally vulnerable situation but also…. You can’t be expected to have that all on your head and deal with your friends toxic relationship. It’s entirely a catch 22. There’s really not much you can do, except waiting and seeing what side your partner falls on as to me, it seems like she’s unsure too. And I’m not just saying this to assume she’s racist or anything like that, it’s purely because she’s a young beautiful woman. Enjoy the time you have left here, enjoy it all you want.
I mean he half knew Either way it doesnt matter much to me
If you are cured, you don't have to give advance disclosure. You are only obligated to offer information about your health that could affect her, things like herpes (1 & 2), HIV, active infections or chronic ailments that impact your life in ways that could affect a prospective partner
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I am a bit pissed at her for it but she is not realising she did something at least questionable so I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable.
I was just out with my gf and her friends. At the club I ran into an old friend of mine so I wanted to really catch up. Me and him walked out to chat in a quiet place. While I was out it seems that my gf used my phone to pay for her friends drinks. The card is on the phone (Google pay) and she knows my passcode. In total they are 5 girls, but their drinks totalled….. 306 dollars. My gf just literally paid for them using my card, without asking. I’m truly pissed. Wtf was that. I don’t agree to her using my money least of all on her friends. I could thankfully contain myself so it’s good to figure out if I’m right to be mad or I’m missing something…?
Good job getting out of there.
Now, go and online your life.
Did you already discuss the elephant in the room or?
On a very very basic sense you could chalk this up to an incompatibility between you two. In that you two have different believes and just can't agree.
On a more complex side of things some of the ways you described her actions and emotions do not sound like someone who is fully ready for a serious adult relationship yet.
Communication is key. Especially on the lowest days. If she can't communicate and then is suprised when people don't want to talk to her that's entirely on her and a her problem.
Here's the real issue. If she doesn't want to change there's not a lot you can do. You can either accept these incompatibilities and try to take the horse to water but you can't make it drink.
This may eventually bite both of you in the ass or who knows she may finally realize what you're trying to say.
It may very well fall short one day. The question is if you want to stay as things are and find out or do you want to keep trying to make her see or what.
Ok, so this is going to sound crazy. But you posted to a relationship sub. Take the bull by the horns, and be the most confident, all knowing couch guy of all time. Bring out the big guns, and bullshit your way through with bravado and sauvuness. Confidently say that it's hardwood or nothing, wink and go into the texture of leather and how it's a must have. Maybe, and I am a 40 yr old guy too, so I know as much as you, maybe estate sales. Otherwise you are going to be paying through the nose for quality furniture. Or, go cheap or regular price, and donate your new couch to a local college in 6 years, and have fun picking out the next one. Confidently, though, cause you're the couch guy.