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I guess just wanting confirmation that he is as bad as I think because I was always guilted into thinking otherwise by my mom.
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Yes. You're being freeloaded off of.
He isn't a good role model for your kids. He should be at least paying towards utilities and groceries.
He needs to start helping out with bills or get his own place.
I think you need another sit down and make it crystal clear. Do you have any children with her?
Karma is a bitch. break up with her her health is not your problem
It sounds bad because it is bad. She is being violent, you asked her to stop, she refuses and blames you for your feelings instead. That means we’re out of Let’s Have a Serious Conversation Land and we’re now well into GTFO Territory.
You need to leave and you need to let any mutual connections know why. Her victim complex makes her untrustworthy in the wake of a breakup and I wouldn’t be surprised if she projected her own failings onto you and accused you of DV (a common tactic among abusers). You don’t have to use the language of domestic abuse victimization to avoid this. You can simply tell people “we split because she was hitting me and wouldn’t stop when I asked.” It’s very likely that you won’t get a chance to tell your story if she accuses you first, so I recommend advocating for yourself early on and in no uncertain terms.
And therein lies your problem. You are implying that ALL of these people are being unreasonable and that you are the only one who is correct and enlightened. I doubt you mean to sound that way, but that is how it reads. They made their choice and you feel the need to undermine that. Why?
What is he, like 5??