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TBF I have a cousin who literally did the same thing. Her kid’s dad only knew that she was born and that was it for him. She also refused. REFUSED to send him to court for child support because she knew he had rights as a dad to see his kid and my cousin didn’t want that. Her reason for their break up and why her kid, now 15, still doesn’t know she has a dad is because he had two other baby mamas and one had a kid the same age as my cousin’s kid and my cousin got pregnant with him while he was in prison…
I do believe the ex’s story. Some girls go to great lengths for what they want. Even if it means losing a decent amount of money
Ya that is true, I keep trying to remind myself that things can still get better. I’m just not sure how much time I should give myself because I don’t want to waste time if things won’t ever get better. So it’s hot to know. I could see myself being happier with a better job, but I want to be close to my family/friends once I start having kids.
I don’t know if I should sacrifice my happiness because he can tell and it causes him to be unhappy too. I want him to be happy & he doesn’t deserve that. So I’d need to find a way to be happy here
Is it possible to get an annulment instead? No consummation of the marriage, and it seems that he may have entered into it under false pretenses.
No honestly my workplace is very chaotic & stressful usually so we tend to have these moments in between. People hardly notice as we tend to be in our own bubble & these interactions are spread out… not necessarily back to back. We are pretty quiet & focused on our tasks for the most part & then other days we’re more talkative. He’s referred to me as J Lo, Jenny from the block, & Ice princess ?? Lol. I gave him a stupid name based on this thing he does all the time & he can’t pronounce it correctly so he always calls me it in different variations.
Naw, this breaks my heart, my mother loved my father more then he ever did and he ended up leaving us and starting a new family. He still financially supported us but still.. I don't feel remotely qualified to comment on this, maybe professional help is the way to go.
I sincerely wish you and your children well moving foward.
I plan on having a conversation I just felt blindsided and needed a minute to process and talk it out with others. I agree porn is different!
So the way to solve a problem of men pestering us fully clothed is to post ourselves very hot? Damn, that's genius. I never thought giving men exactly what they want and labeling it “empowerment” would work.
She likes him as a friend
I would suggest stopping trying for a baby while you figure this out. This may be too big of an incompatibility honestly. A lot of people under estimate the resource of having friends and family nearby when thinking about cost of living. If your child gets sick and can't go to daycare you may have someone who can help out so neither of you miss work for example. Or someone willing to babysit for a date night that doesn't want to be paid. If you want to move homes you may need to hire movers of you're out of state too. Maybe discuss some of these things with him. But ultimately if neither of you fully wants the same thing someone will compromise and likely become resentful. He may resent not moving and the cost. You may resent missing your family and not having their support. And that will likely end up badly down the road.
Chinese as well (Fujianese) my partner is American. We are saving up together for my bride price. In modern days, the bride price is merely a token gesture to thank the brides parent for raising her. Often the parents would take the bride price and add on to it to give the whole amount back to the couple as a nest egg during the tea ceremony.