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Having big conversations are naked. But you also don't have to make it sound bad or nude. Something like
“Littlensillybaby's Boyfriend, just wanted to let you know that I really don't like x things (being gone down on and whatever else) and I don't cum with partners. It's nothing personal, and I absolutely adore fucking you, that's just how my body is. Those are my limits, and I would appreciate it if you don't try to push those boundaries. I have some personal trauma in my past that I think is the source of some of those feelings. I'll let you know if those boundaries change, but please don't expect that to change. (up to you if you want to give him more details than that re: your trauma, again you don't have to)
All of that said, I really do fucking love our sex, I love (and then insert all of the things you like doing with him, feel free to make it as raunchy as possible)”.
If you can do it that way, the conversation doesn't sound like you're talking about a cancer diagnosis. You can switch it from, hey these are my boundaries into, but hey here is all of the awesome stuff I DO like. It makes a nude conversation into something that hopefully ends up feeling fun, and maybe a little sexy by the end and might make you feel more comfortable with the conversation inevitably?
She goes on benders and she’s mentally ill. She’s an addict.
A wedding is as cheap or as expensive as you make it. Ours was nowhere near $35K even with 105 guests.
Your partner is lower-middle class living an upper class life. It’s not normal to take out a loan for a wedding. The point of a wedding is that you get married to your life partner and not to piss away all your money for one party. Financial differences are the number one cause of divorce. You sound like a reasonable person. Your partner does not. End it before you get married.
I mean, full time work is nude on a lot of us (mentally) but we still have to make a living, lmao.
A few years ago, I tried to kms. Spent the weekend in the psych ward then was back at work on Tuesday because I need a roof and food.
The world doesn’t stop and wait for anyone. Definitely doesn’t care.
You’ve been more than generous. Time to cut her off.
You deserve so much better than to be put into a situation like that, regardless of who it is. He isn’t your boyfriend yet from what I’ve seen from your comments, so please please please drop him before it escalates to him physically harming you. He’s clearly already emotionally manipulating you so don’t allow it to continue.
He’s trying to guilt you to stay with him, try to find his mother or other family members on social media and let them know about his behavior towards you, and seemingly suicidal tendencies, so that he can get the help he needs.
What he’s doing to you is unacceptable and do not feel bad. If you can’t find anyone close to him, call a wellness check on him if you think he will go through with anything more severe.
You will probably also need a lot of support after going through this traumatic experience, whether it be friends, family, or a therapist. Please talk to someone so that you aren’t bottling anything up and keep blaming yourself.
I hope you do well.
Send a text or something saying when you last saw your daughter, you want her to drop your kid off at home (she can’t just take her daughter from the marital home forever over a non-violent divorce), and if she refuses you’ll be telling your lawyer. I’m not a legal expert but with written evidence I’m sure you can get a more favourable case with custody.
I just got out of a relationship w serial cheater, I took him back several times and he never changed. He may have put up a front initially but that’s just to appear like he’s serious to win me over. Leave while you can, these people do not change. Think about it, it’s no ONE girl. It’s many. They can’t control themselves and they will only tear your self s esteem to shreds.
This happens all the time.
My Aunt did something similar to my Uncle after he cheated on her their whole life and had a secret family. She found out and instead of divorcing him played the long con (17 years) He was offered an allowance of 3k a month or nothing. She was the brains of the operation (They owned Blocks of Homes) – and he fucked around and found it.
Happens all the time
So she overshares intimate details of her sexual life to strangers in bars and when they react poorly she tries to get you to fight them.
And you think she's funny and extroverted, and not deeply disturbed.
It's all fun and games to be sex positive but for fucks sake, keep it to yourself and your trusted friends. It's not a quirky topic, it's at best trauma dumping and at worst sexual harassment. People don't want to hear it. Strangers definitely don't want to hear it.
Stop justifying it and playing it down. Jfc, trying to get you to fight a man in a club “just to intimidate him”. You're both pieces of work.
You're probably right. I am not going to go over her place tonight. Just going to avoid her tonight and give it a night to think about what action I am going to take.
I am leaning heavily toward just breaking up though. It might be a dickbag move, but it is probably the right move.
her gauy* and bisexual* girl friends
I guess i just know my own mind
So do many people until addiction takes over. Only takes that once and then that's it you're over the edge.
Only way to truly avoid it, is avoid it.
This whole post is literally a one rule for him one for me thing.
Shit lmao. Well, I talk to myself (or inanimate objects) all the time. I don’t monologue AT people, because that’s weird (lol). My employees are free to listen in though. Sometimes they ask if I’m talking TO them, or just at the universe. It was a silly joke I made one day, and it stuck. But it’s a handy distinction. I think one you could snatch, because it really just sounds like you’re paralyzed by manners and politeness, and he’s either just talking to the universe (which includes you, if you want), or he doesn’t know that’s an option.
Y’all get nekkid together, y’all should be able to be weird together, no judgment. No judgment from him on manners, no judgement from you on talking to the universe. Try less serious, and more silly.
She tells you she's pregnant when you end things, but when you asked for a paternity test, she says fuck you and then blocked you everywhere? That makes me think she knew the baby more than likely isn't yours.
Most women don't take a test until they missed their period, unless they are actively trying to get pregnant, they had unprotected sex, or the condom failed. She should have understood that you'd want a paternity test after only being together for a month.
I hear your reluctance and that's because you are obviously a very good person. But my worry for you is, if after only two months this is how she is treating you…. what's your life going to look like after two years?