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Did the friend know there was a camera on her? That adds a whole other level of creep factor.
Truthfully you should get a no contact (restraining) order. They just call them different things depending on location. Its very hot it sucks. I get it. You still love them. But they are bad for you and your mental health. Its time for better things. I still mourn my ex who I had to file against even though im with the most wonderful man. And he lets me vent and talk about the hell I went through. Im very thankful. I also found a great therapist to help me discuss the disrespect and abuse I went though because I wouldn't have chosen those words myself. Take care of yourself, I know its scary. I wish you the best.
Sounds like you guys don't speak each others love languages at all. Look it up and implement, or perhaps it's time to think of some marriage counseling.