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Hi yes, I see him every week and he does have another, very casual partner, but they are not at all close
WASP means White Anglo Saxon Protestant. It doesn’t say anything about money or social class. So even though you are also Irish Catholic, you are by definition a WASP.
NAH. I'm gonna have a bit of an unpopular opinion here. It could be that your fiance, who has never seen you interact with your best friend, was completely unprepared with how much time and affection you had for Michael when he came. Going to the movies, being on the couch together, taking selfies and laughing and being silly together….sure they could all be platonic, but to an outside perspective it could easily be mistaken for a relationship as well. If your fiance was ever the slightest bit insecure that would be like throwing salt in the wound and he overreacted. He did overreact, and now it's up to you if you can forgive that or not.
> I know he hasn’t cheated and he’s not trying to talk to anyone else
Uhhhhh….
>Do you think he will change his attitude.
No.
There is no doubt that you love him, but I think you know that he's abusive.
Nothing against living with parents, but he clearly has some stunted emotional development from living with them for so long, being enabled by them (and being ridiculed) for so long, he has zero reason to grow up. Why would he? He’s morbidly obese, lives with his parents, eats whatever he wants, and he STILL gets to have a girlfriend. He won’t change until he NEEDS to change, and until he sees that he needs to change, nothing will change.
I can't say what he is thinking. He may be just playing you for a part time good time. Or, he might be genuine, but not feeling secure enough that your relationship will last, to allow the kid to be involved yet.
If it's the latter, then I commend him on protecting his kid. Divorce of parents is difficult and really messes with a kid's sense of feeling safe and secure, and possible self image issues. If one of the parents then starts introducing new people and then that relationship doesn't work out, just as the kid begins to trust it, well… you can guess how that can go for an already struggling child.
I would suggest having an honest conversation with him and figuring out where things stand, and where he hopes the relationship will go. Us reddit people can make guesses all day about what this guy wants. But, in the end, we have no clue. You have to find that out from his words and actions yourself.
Sorry, what conversation needs to be had? He's shown you who he is and it's pretty awful.
See my previous advice. You don't need closure or rationale or discussion to finish this.
I wouldn't concern yourself. Tell her it's not possible. Then if she insists, tell her get a blood work paternity test, but otherwise you will assume you don't have super sperm that last in vagina for 10 weeks to impregnate her.
Call the police for a wellness checkup, each time!! This is manipulation on his part!
Break up and block!
Girl. I'm so sorry that your mother is and have been so horrible to you. This is not your fault. You did nothing wrong, all the wrong things, are on her. Having a relationship of any kind between two people, requires that both people fully want to have that relationship and both treat each other with respect. This goes for families too. Your parents are not OWED a relationship with you if they don't treat you well and respect you. Just because they birthed you, doesn't mean they are the owners of you, you're not an object.
In this case, your mother doesn't even want a relationship with you, for whatever reason. And you can't force her to have a relationship with you, when she doesn't want to. But even if she wanted to, she's atrocious to you and it would be in your best interest and self preservation, to go no contact with her. It's unfortunate that she's about to die, but that's life and we all are here temporally. Just the fact that she's close to death, doesn't give her permission to be a horrible human being and treat other people like sh*t. And if she dies alone… so be it, that's what she choose.
I'm totally NC with my “father” (I say this in quotes because even though he did online in the same house that I lived, with my mother, the man never, ever, did something remotely fatherly, and all he did was abuse my mother and me, he's a violent, hateful, misogynist person). This man will die alone, he has been “dying” for the past 7 years, progressively getting worse but not really leaving the planet. And I'm fine with it, he chose to drive away every single person that tried to get close, with his violence and horrible treatment. Choosing not to get abused is self preservation, and it involves getting away from the abusers. We are allowed to choose a life free from abuse. Even required to. Otherwise, abuse becomes a generational, never-ending cycle.
And for the people saying “but faaaaaaaaaamily”… two options here. One option is that some people who say it, never experienced abuse, really do have a loving, caring family, and can't imagine families from hell. But we do know that the families from hell do exist, and we don't owe to these people to run back to our abusers, just because THEY have love in their families. We do not have love there. The other option for people who say “but faaaaaaaaaaaamily” are the people who did experience abuse, but normalized it. For them, abuse is the only way to exist. Those are the people trapped in the forever, generational abuse. They will never reflect about abuse, both the one they suffered, and the one they will inflict to the younger generation. We also don't owe them to be trapped there with them forever.
If it's possible for you to access therapy, do so, it will help you process all of what is happening. But don't feel guilty for choosing to online your best life, away from abuse.
Had an ex like this. Describes him to a tea.