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Erh, you've known him for how long?! When has he ever shown accountability for anything?
I'll be honest, this post has more red flags than a parade in beijing but on the off chance you actually mean this and are not looking for a quick yass queen here's my 2 cents as someone with a mentally ill SO.
I don’t know how to make it up to him and genuinely show how sorry I am so I can move past it.
Showing a person you are sorry for multiple years of hell is not something you can do in one gesture, speech, or what have you. It's a debt that a person has a moral duty to repay through constant, consistent, and long lasting self-improvement.
So apologise, thank him, and stop making this about you.
I know you don't think you're doing that, but if “He says it’s okay and not to worry about it” then you're definitely bringing this to him, meaning he's pulling double duty both having done the emotional heavy lifting of surviving these 7 years and having to uplift you out of self loathing now.
This is not about you feeling better about it, (Frankly you shouldn't, you should have that weight on your conscience to an extent. The feeling of guilt is a good reminder not to do bad things again.) this is about making it better for him now that you can, because you know he deserves it.
Step one about that is not to make him carry your trauma on top of his.
Yes, you are mentally ill. Yes, those are still your actions and your responsibility, now that you are healing.
“7 years of abuse is something I can’t seem to shake off the hurt from.”
Imagine how he must be doing after 7 years.
It's up to you to become strong enough to carry your own so he can start healing too, because god knows if you “can't shake off” being the perpetrator of the abuse, he's definitely not doing him any favours.
Going forward, the correct behaviour is to stop pitying yourself over your past, stop burdening him with your self pity (keep that for your psychologist, they're paid to deal with that), keep improving yourself, and work your ass off so he can have the relationship you both deserve.
That's it, that's the whole rant.
I think you need to break up and move on. BF is holding your past over your head. You weren't with him at that point, and he is blaming you.
You guys aren't compatible anymore, I think that making the separation permanent is the best play here for both of you.
1) get a lawyer ⚖️
2) blow it up ?
Ok misleading title. You’re wife is saying that she’d like to spend the 2 months after graduating school enjoying traveling with her father, instead of living with family doing a part-time job she doesn’t enjoy. Let her have a brief few months off before she has to work the rest of her life.