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You are both in your early twenties, and have been together from high school. Its normal for him to want to have more experiences and sexual partners, so he's actually asking for permission to cheat.
Unfortunately, and sorry to say this, but your relationship just got an expiration date. His thoughts will not magically change, and one way or another he will eventually have sex with other people. Whether he cheats or ends it first is a whole other deal.
As for actual advice? You are too young to be stuck with someone who is eventually going to cheat and/or break up with you. It will hurt like hell, take you out of your comfort zone but eventually i think both of you need to on-line your twenties a bit more, party and meet new people now. If you dont do it now, you'll end up wanting to do it later in life as it will be something you'll feel you missed.
Seems like kinda red flags to me. Sure, he might get briefed and get extra information from the military that may have an impact on your safety. That means he is obliged to share that information with you (since there's no way in hell that “this neighbourhood is unsafe” can be a military secret in any way, shape or form) so that you both can make informed decisions. Not keep that information to himself and tell you where you can and cannot go. I also understand his wish to protect you, especially if he's never been abroad before as that can be a crazy wakeup for some. Northern Italy in general is not a bad place, but ofcourse there are areas you should avoid. Southern Italy is poorer, this doesn't necessarily translate to unsafe though.
So.. The guy is greatly inexperienced with life in general, sure, but this comes of as more controlling than caring even so..
The fact that he's sneaky with his phone… Dude is a mess. I'd get an STI check if I were you.
we really like each other
he doesn't want anything serious
I wanna get married
I was stupid and accidentally got pregnant teehee
I won't abort
I somehow don't think you're telling us the whole story. Come on, you're 30 and supposedly don't know how birth control works? You're most definitely not asking for advice on “how to tell him”, you're asking for advice on how you get the guy you babytrapped to stick around and marry you.
Reddit doesn't have a magic wand.
He has to want to help himself.
Is there somewhere you can go and online for awhile? Let him online in his own mess and have not access to you physically, and hit rock bottom.
Nine-TEEN
This is one reason people should just be upfront instead of waiting for ‘grand gestures’. When you felt that you were in love with her, did you tell her? If not, why not?
OP too pussy to end this himself. Been there. But you’ll regret not just ending it.
It's totally cool to have different plans for the future, but it's important to have a convo about it so you're on the same page. From the sounds of it, it seems like he's ready for marriage and you're not. You've gotta be honest with yourself and him about where you're at.
It's not fair to either of you if you're not on the same page. If you're not ready for marriage, that's totally okay, but you need to be honest with him about that. And he needs to be understanding of where you're at. He's right that a lot can change in a year, but at the same time, you can't just put your life on hold for him. You gotta think about yourself and what you want too.
It sounds like you're feeling guilty and like you're wasting his time, but that's not fair to you. You're allowed to have your own plans and goals. If you're not ready for marriage, that's not something you should feel guilty about. You have to make decisions that are right for you.
It's important to have open communication about all this. You guys need to talk it through and see if you can find a compromise or a way to move forward that works for both of you. But if you're not ready for marriage and you don't think you will be in the near future, then it's important to be honest with him about that. Don't lead him on if you're not sure about your feelings.
It's not easy but you have to think what's best for you and your happiness.
Do not listen to all of these jerks talking down to you. I think people tend to forget that the US is one of the most dangerous places in the world.
The number of people dying due to gun violence in the US is higher then in most wars going on with the exception of the war between Russia and Ukraine.
Take off – but of cause be careful!
He is threatened by your ability to earn more than him, and he's annoyed you are no longer doing “mommy” duties like doing all his ironing, bringing him his lunch, and cooking every damn meal for him. You enabled a lazy man previously, and now you aren't.
You have made INCREDIBLE AND AMAZING changes to yourself and your life. He should be your biggest supporter, but he can't see past his own selfishness. He is now required to be self sufficient to a much bigger degree than he was used to. Did he marry you because he loved you, or because you did everything bar wipe his ass for him?
He is actively trying to sabotage you and emotionally manipulate you. Do not fall for it, and NEVER make yourself smaller for someone else. You are so kick ass, and he's damn lucky to be married to you. Don't you ever forget that xo
Very valid
I don't necessarily think it was a direct comparison, more like a passing comment to justify her past experience.
She asked for time and you gave her time. You asked to talk to discuss this issue.
Honestly, I think she is making you stew, Op.
She knows how to reach you when she's had enough time.
I wouldn't reach out to her again.
If she doesn't get back to you in 2-3 days, I'd call it quits.
Wild guess here that you’ve never lived on your own and/or have had mommy and daddy’s money to pay for everything. You clearly have no clue how life works. The only thing concerning about that debt, which isn’t your or your parents business, is the credit card debt. Student loans in that amount, mortgage, and car are all normal debts to have. How are you supposed to pay for college and a house without loans if you don’t have parents to pay for it?