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“I quickly shut that down” – why? Nothing wrong talking about it.
Did you ask him if he wanted to have a threesome?
“I expressed that made me feel uncomfortable” – why were you uncomfortable? He was getting to know you and your sexual preferences. He asked a question if you would be open to have a threesome. I don't think he said, wanna have threesome next week or something.
You dismissed his question, accused him of making you uncomfortable and make him feel bad for asking a question. Nobody was wrong but you both felt wrong (he felt like he had already planned the threesome and you felt uncomfortable)
I agree that his bullshit argument that “every guy wants” is stupid but you should have asked him what he wants instead of “feeling uncomfortable”.
Not blaming you for feeling the way you felt but your insecurities, not being open to talk about the sex, shutting it down quickly created the situation in witch you felt that he was wrong and he felt that you were wrong.
So he was a bad guy because he wanted a threesome and because he didn't want a threesome (gaslighting)?
It sounds like he just can't handle being in a relationship with someone right now. You both need to focus on yourself for a while.
You don’t need to feel anything. You are not the bad guy here. Just continue with your life. I can’t believe that woman is 38, what an immature way to handle things. Stay silent and/or block. No one needs this kind of drama in their lives.