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Move forward in your life, not back.
your ex has shown how she deals with things when it get tough
Yikes. I have sympathy for you because you seem like a truly miserable person who has, through awful behavior inappropriate emotional outbursts, isolated herself almost entirely from everyone – your son, your DIL, your ex-DIL, your granddaughters, your daughter, her children, and even a friend.
Why did you behave this way? Is this extremely out of character for you, or are you always this self-absorbed and lacking in empathy?
If this is out of character for you, you might want to go to a doctor and describe the situation because it could be a neurological issue of some sort or a brain tumor. If this is a longstanding trait of yours, you should try therapy because it sounds like you might honestly have some type of diagnosable personality disorder (NPD, BPD, etc.). Whether this is a long-term or short-term issue for you, one thing is for sure: this behavior is not normal at all, and you have brought this entire situation onto yourself.