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I would start with “Listen here, you little shit…”
Not at all.
I don’t see how one goes backward like that. If he wants to be unserious he can be single.
This is NOT as nude as others make out. Specifically:
You cannot adopt them if he won’t relinquish rights.
HOWEVER, that 100% does not exclude you:
Telling them you understand they’re upset, and that while you think they should not cut off their father, you WILL NOT abandone them, regardless of who is the “father”
Both these things can be true. IMO, the rest is noise and fury!
Yes, but he's not here asking for advice, and she is completely responsible for her own choices going forward wrt dating single parents.
Not going to judge as it seems that's plenty clear what everyone thinks and you know yourself.
That aside – yes, tell the FiancĂ©. She deserves to know, she should know – this shouldn't even be a question much less putting it to Reddit's popularity vote.
You've already put this off for far, far too long – the poor girl is going to go through not just their engagement but marriage with you being his side piece that suddenly developed enough of a conscience to want to tell her.
Be real here – you two don't have a future and even if you did, you know he's quite capable and has in fact been sleeping around. It's not a relationship, you're part of a harem.
I agree with this 100%. He is not seeing his daughter on his days off? Why the fuck not?
He is merely checking a box on his responsibilities, with you!
You don’t need to justify your point of view. Neither does he, you’re both adults to make your life choices.
You say it’s the only relationship in your life where you’re treated normally, but he talks about “the lord” with you and constantly asks you to go to church. This doesn’t sound normal to me. You could both be into the lord and church or not, but him trying to change you isn’t good.
Sounds like you finally shared your true feelings and good for you. If you feel trauma, deep unease or discomfort in any situation you SHOULD tell your boyfriend and be honest. There is a book called The Gift of Fear and encourages us to trust our instincts and not fall into a situation bad for us.
He wants a girlfriend all into church who wants to revolve her life around church, have a church wedding, have church babies and baptize the kids In church and bring them to church until they’re 18.
You want a boyfriend that… when you tell him you have trauma and struggle about something (in this case religion) .. you want a boyfriend that listens to your struggles and sympathizes with you. Who doesn’t try to make you something you aren’t. A boyfriend that doesn’t always try and make you do something you have trauma over is a caring and understanding person.
Despite knowing you have issues and struggles with religion he STILL badgers you to go all the time, preaches to you and wants you to schedule your life around church. He’s not listening to you. He doesn’t have interest in supporting you, and he wants to mold you into something you’re currently not.
If you want to stay with him and be his church wife you might be fine or it might all become too much for you and you feel suffocated.
TLDR
It’s the lack of compassion about your trauma that most concerns me about the boyfriend. You say you’re stressed about it and he doesn’t care, he just keeps doing it. A person who loves and respects you would stop doing something immediately if they knew it causes you guilt, harm, trauma or stress.
he allowed OP to download
That's not what happened, if you get invited to someone's house you're not allowed to steal their belongings.
No matter what, your children will be better off if you two aren’t together anymore. It’s inevitable, the longer you put it off the uglier it may get.
Then told me it’s his house and he’ll do what he wants, told me to find a better place for therapy then
You should find a better place – to on-line. When you are in no good mental place, the last thing you need is a bf who does poweplays and other abusive stuff. I guess he waited until you are under his roof to show his true colors. NTA