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Sounds like she wants more attention from you and while it wasn’t necessarily good to look through her phone you did discover something and you’re well within your rights to be concerned. You did admit that you had looked and now she knows but whether or not she explained about the nature of the messaging I’m not sure especially if he’s someone she had a fling with. It’s not just anyone then. So you feeling uncomfortable is understandable. That’s probably more what this is about, who it is. Focus on the fact of her comment to you and try to work on that but on her side she should also do her bit to understand where you’re coming from
I’m sorry ?
She is not your, it's only your turn. Leave her.
Nope, he's a petty ass
Block him. You've got the rec letters, you've got more experience, you don't need him.
Just block him and never think about him again. You don't owe anyone a relationship, especially when he is pushing boundaries when you're in a relationship. Red flag field. It's sad he had a stroke, it really is, especially at a young age. But it's in no way your responsibility to have a relationship or care for him now. You might have thought you owed him 'for giving you a big break' – but I'll be honest. I'm an employer. I have given people breaks. I never expected them to stay in my employment and encouraged them to progress outside what the company was able to provide, and that what a manager should do. He is taking advantage of you.
Grow up…
You got to be one of the most spineless people if you were willing to stay with a someone who is willing to have you jailed and ruin your life and not to mention spit you. Then again you clearly aren't the sharpest tool in the shed if you think threatening someone is a good idea…
Wtf? I wanna watch this case tho.
And trust me there are sick people in this world? I also believe this is fake but you never know. If it‘s true, OP is a fucking disgusting predator and deserves hell.
She made me feel like I was crazy for being upset at it, and that it was fine. She got mad at me for being friends with someone who had a crush on me over a year ago but i never reciprocated cause we had been friends for years. She even threatened to break up yet expects me to be okay w her being around someone who she did reciprocare for and was with so recently
He should fully disclose everyone he intends to hang out with. He's married and he doesn't get to make decisions as a 'single' person. It's not about cheating. It's about honesty and respect first. He should have had the decency to include you on his decisions. It doesn't have to be cheating for it to be a deal breaker. If my wife went out, without my knowledge or her where abouts, that alone would piss me off.
I also won't agree that this is something about “guys”. Many guys perfectly understand emotional cheating. Just some aren't able to vocalize it with proper words. And if someone, was actually able to vocalize their thoughts did in fact tell you otherwise, then you are just being gaslit to hell and back. This really should be about the marriage and the boundaries you have with each other. I mean, how would he feel if the role is reversed? Having said that, I have no idea how your relationship is with him normally, so talk to him and express your concerns and read his body language.
Oh look another toxic age gap relationship, it's almost like there's some kind of correlation.