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Morgan Freeman voice: “it was not, in fact, the first time it had happened.”
I know mental load has an actual definition, but on reddit it seems to only pop up when people want to make excuses for women not holding up their end of a relationship
So why are you dating men who don't want what you want?
If you're upfront at the beginning, you need to ask what they hope for from dating you. If it's vague or anything other than an enthusiastic “Yes, I'm only looking to date for a serious relationship” then you need to ditch him and move on
You don’t want to add to her burden…guy, what about your burden? She seems quite comfortable adding to it with zero emotional reciprocation.
This was my ex, depression without doing anything about it, because if he did, he would actually have to work and help around the house. That was not in his interest. Dead bedroom. I too was very empathic, until I woke up and realized I was being used and manipulated. That it isn’t a partnership, it’s me being taken advantage of. My kindness, my money, my love, all were twisted and used against me.
She not going to make any friends not doing anything all day in your house. You know where she could make friends? Work. She is also not going to get out of depression by being enabled to be a shut in.
You are working two jobs and paying for her for all bills, trips, etc. Without you ever feeling like you can say a word about how exhausted you are because you don’t want to rock the boat, or seem insensitive to depression. Why would she change it? All is free and with the added bonus of being guilt free.
Take it from me, there is a point you will get to where you realize if you are doing everything yourself, you may as well do it by yourself. I hope you get there quick. This isn’t going to change anytime soon because now she is used to it, and will fight to keep it.
I’m really afraid that he’s shared pictures and video of you within his group chat. This happens a lot more than anyone would think. You need to protect yourself. First off. Never allow anyone to take pictures or video of you doing anything that you wouldn’t want your grandma to see. No exceptions.
Most people are subscribed to cloud services. So they may not even be aware that your sensitive material is on a cloud. All cloud servers can be hacked.
If you know his phone code you’re well within your ethical rights to scroll up. If you don’t have his phone password tell him that you need him to open that chat to make sure that you’re safe. This isn’t negotiable. Tell him that you’re not interested in anything other than photos or video of you. If your boyfriend is receiving sensitive pictures and videos of his friends S/O chances are that he’s reciprocating. That’s how this works. If he refuses, you have your answer and nobody in the group chat can be trusted again.
I’ve heard horror stories from just about every profession and socioeconomic demographic on this topic. Trust no one ever with data like this.
For some weird reason this is a big thing with medical residents.
The good news is that unless you’re a famous person, nobody cares about a nude photo floating around so don’t sweat it. The problems arise when some jackass share’s photos and or videos of a SO to other people who know you. Good luck and be vigilant. Stay strong and update us if you can. I’m really sorry that this is something that you even have to think about. People can suck.
He is doing that on purpose, to control you. He has isolated you away from family/friends but moving you to a different city, he has cut off access to your OWN money, and he is always with you.
This will get worse, and it could get violent. Get away from him and don't look back- if you overplan and are a little paranoid, who cares? Better to prepare for the worst than to have it happen to you.
You don't want to be with this guy anymore, and I don't blame you. So be cautious but remember you do not need to stay married to him, you don't owe him that, and everything you wrote about him would make me run away too.
It's funny how normal isn't normal anymore