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You need to take steps immediately and methodically
Step number 1 is to tell his wife immediately, if you don't then he will be off the hook and even if he ceases conversation with your wife, he will find somebody else. He's not innocent because he knew your wife was married, he knew she had a family so I would absolutely destroy this guy's life as well.
Step number 2 is to understand your wife isn't sorry about what she's done, she's sorry she got caught. You need to effectively cut ties with her emotionally and physically. She needs to understand that actions have consequences. Make it clear that you are living together purely because of circumstances but that you don't see yourself as husband and wife anymore.
Believe me this will eat her up.
And step 3 is work on an exit, whether it takes years it doesn't matter. Work on a way for you to be free of her.
She is a disgusting women who deserves no remorse.
Yes? They’re not going to arrest you because you refused to date someone and that person went on to self-harm or something.
Do you understand how ridiculous that would be?
Talk to him! Don’t say you heard him in therapy. That wasn’t cool to listen.
But you can tell him that you’re having trouble processing the mixed emotions having an abortion causes, and if he’s like to talk about it with you, you’d love that. A LOT of people who choose abortion are sad about it! It can be the right decision, and you can feel that it is the right thing to do but also mourn the loss. That’s allowed.
Maybe you guys can grieve together.
Also true. I really care about her and want to forgive her, but it’s funny that she says it was a “mistake” while I’m intentionally hurting her.
I get a mistake being a one time thing in a moment of weakness, like some gorgeous guy walked up to her and asked for her number, but she intentionally got on two dating sights, sexted multiple people, and then gaslighted me into thinking I was paranoid and insecure because I caught on to the sketchy behavior.
So that’s honestly why I’m upset and made those type of comments. It’s like yes I want to forgive her, but SHOW me that you’re actually sorry, you know?
like l for example I made a comment about her working out and said she should continue to look even better for the nudes she’s sending out.
Is that petty? Absolutely. But it’s like just say that you’re sorry and never going to do that again. Make me feel a little better.
I don't understand why there is such a big stigma about it, just sleep in a different room if you need to. Don't let the lack of sleep start building animosity between you two. Its totally fine to sleep somewhere else.
If he is going to do this when you are asleep you can’t really trust him.
If you really want to give him one last chance, confront him and tell him you are glad to have sex when you are awake, but if he gets horny when you are asleep he will have to relieve himself without you. And it happens again, you are done. Then if it does, you better follow through. But hard to trust him if he is going to do stuff when you are asleep.
Step your standards up. If the ONLY thing he offers now in the relationship is sex, nothing is going to change when you move in together. You will be taking care of him and he will believe that having sex with you is all you need to be happy.