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I think the âcatching them red handedâ comment refers to catching them in a lie. They did lie about their availability to hang out, rather than just saying something like they had already made plans to do something else.
She's obv got some deeper issues, I'm sure she knows that wasn't rape but the denial has to be stronger than logic. My bf is an ex-mormon he told me about how much denial goes on in the church ESP for sexual things.
You didn't rape her. I personally would avoid this relationship as it's above your pay grade man. You can't force her to acknowledge her religious trauma, and she'll never admit it wasn't rape without acknowledging that trauma first. She has to want to see it, and only god knows when that will happen lmao
You say youâre not having kids, but is it biologically possible? Because I would not trust her if she says sheâs on the pill. I wouldnât trust her not to pierce condoms. If she thinks thatâs what it takes for you to stayâŚ
Like the previous comment said, it is normal to develop feelings for those in your friend circle of the sex you prefer. It is the familiarity, the closeness and shared intimacy- like all the personal things you said you shared, the time spent talking and thinking about eachother and other simple things like a similar sense of humor, shared interests (like music or movies) or hopes/dreams⌠to put it plainly, you tend to like what you know, and the more you know the more you like. That is why your feelings will probably get stronger the more you text, call or hangout. This is true for women too, it is a human thing. I would rather spend my time going out with someone I know has a real possibility of being âthe oneâ or at least a long-term girlfriend as opposed to just cold calling random women on Tinder or at a bar.
If you go slow, donât assume she is into you and let her know in a reasonable and respectful way that your interested, even if she is not, it shouldnât mess anything up with other friends. Like even if she turned you down, if you approach her in the right way, you can go on being friends after. But if she is responding to your texts pretty quick, willing to talk on the phone with you or usually agrees to spend like 1on1 time with you⌠well it wonât seem out of place to her if you let her know your catching feelings for her. Just respect her feelings after she makes them known and your all good.
It seems like she doesn't think improving is enough. To me, she seems like she wants you to be a (certain?) another person when you two are shopping. I think you two have different shopping styles and, if she can't accept that – to the point of even fighting with you everytime you try to be involved while respecting your own personality- you two should probably shop separatedly.
Yes like a throuple. Maybe some of his anxiety/regret is that he feels âleft out.â Iâm a bit too insecure to be in a completely poly relationship. But I can get into inviting a third (or more) to join my partner and I. Itâs mostly sexual but thereâs some âdatingâ as well.
Emotions can work against us. They can make us want what is really bad for us. So youâre not the only one who broke up with someone bad for them but still missed the other person. Sometimes we get so used to the pattern of a relationship that we find a strange comfort in that pattern. Itâs a terrible pattern but weâre used to it. So when we break that pattern part of us misses the pattern because it was predictable, and we humans like predictability.
Iâm happy for you that you did this. Please stay safe and keep reminding yourself why youâre better off, especially when you miss him.
Agree with almost everything already listed here but I will go on to say to expect him to show up to your job to catch you leaving and come to your house at some off times. Been there did that and it took me YEARS to get this guy to leave me alone. I even left the damn state and kept moving about every 6 mos to a year. Just donât engage. The more you do the more he thinks heâs got a 0.001% chance and heâll gladly accept that. Even though the dude that I dated did all he did, I wouldnât change a thing I did (ie go back and give up) Just stick with it and watch your back. You got this! ?
Honestly thank you for this