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Um, coercion is rape. Having sex with a woman 3 weeks postpartum is scummy. If that's what they are saying about him, then they are correct.
I really like everything that Brené Brown has put out, including her podcasts. She has a couple of great episodes on shame and guilt and how they don’t usually help us to be better.
Drunk words are sober thoughts. And now he’s repeated those words. Believe them. Your husband is a dick.
I’ll be alright. And no, I don’t have the money and my family don’t believe in mental health either. They call it “stuff only for white people.” (Im Hispanic btw). I just have too much in my head at the moment. But I’ll be fine eventually. Thanks for the concern.
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Adding to this. He is basing his feelings of the validity and importance of an assault on how he feels about the people involved. He only seems to care when the assault effects people that he cares about (you) so I wonder, had he been friends with the person who hurt you, would he have ignored it and downplayed it the same way he is with the assault his friends committed? The nastiest part of me is wondering if he used your trauma as a way to get close to you.
I can understand that he might not have come forward at the time due to a multitude of factors, though I still think it's bullshit. But the fact that he maintained this friendship means that he made the choice over and over again, since college that these men were more important than their victim and ultimately that their victim's rape did not matter.
Does he really think that these two people have never hurt anyone else? Rapists typically do not stop at one person. They may just be hiding it from him better now.
Ultimately, is this the person you want to be with? Someone who will stand by the side of people who hurt and abuse others if he's friends with them? Personally, I think that you deserve better than that.
There's no advice to give. Either she's worth it or she's not.
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Thank you “the way this man is willing to let you hurt” wow ? that really spoke to me lol, I kept telling him that he’s complicating things and even cried in front of him because it’s just so hurtful that we keep repeatedly have these conversations. I have never been in love nor felt loved, I have been emotionally and physically attached but never in love nor loved. So I will strive to find that within myself
Thank you for taking the time to share your experience. I have considered therapy and should probably do it. I wanted to post here because I want to hear about real experiences such as the one you shared.