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Thank you for this, I really do appreciate this comment
She's only 9, so you have been effectively filling a “Dad” role in her life for most of her aware life, it's good that her bio dad and her have a great relationship and you are all comfortable in it. “dad” is more than just being her parent, its how you influence her in all your actions and what she sees and feels towards you and she obviously feels that you are “dad” as well.
I'd actually mention it to your wife and see what she thinks, i don't think it will be such a big deal if she occasionally uses it, or if shes comfortable using it all the time if she wants, sometimes for kids, it must be hot to have to call the person who lives with your dad or mum, by their first name when you consider them more important than that.
I'd say that possibly she has referred to you that way accidentally to her mom and its not a big deal.
I'd say it must feel great though to be that highly thought of.
Yeah. I know. It's just so tough because feelings and stuff. Trying to suggest couples therapy a few months ago was met with defensiveness and hostility– and we weren't even having problems then, I just thought it would be good to start early and work on communicating more effectively. But clearly we had deeper issues I just wasn't aware of.
Tell him you will need to ease into it or not do it at all. Put your foot down. Tell him it will take a while because you still aren't comfortable with the idea and if he pushes you, you won't do it at all.
You are only 30 minutes away and the plan isn't for you to meet her there after the company only event? And you sound like you feel unable to bring things up with your wife about this event as well. Red flag city, trust your gut.
You are not being dramatic for the desire for a serious relationship as you two have been dating for over a year, regardless the term used. Now he wants an open relationship, which in your writing, you do not. As you do not want an open relationship, breaking up was the only solution and you did right as that was a deal breaker.
Something my father told me around your age that always stuck with me. “Every relationship you have helps you to identify what you want in a mate and what you don't” Each relationship you have helps you learn for they next until you find the one you wish to marry. This held true for me and helped me understand myself as well as what I desired in a long term mate. My husband and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary this Sept. and still remain very happy and loving with each other.
I wish you the best in your journey of ups and downs with dating. You sound like a level headed and intelligent person.
What a winner you've found.