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You got the 90% and the 10% the wrong way around. I wish you a safe exit and a happier life
He's very immature. Let him move out, and then you can find an adult to have a relationship with.
Moving is a really big deal. You have a new country, city, neighborhood, new job, people, new places, new everything really. Force yourself to explore. Depending on how much free time you have schedule in walks in your neighborhood (where stopping for ice cream, coffee, or anything that looks good is not only welcome but encouraged). Schedule drives around different neighborhoods or some time to get yo know the public transit system. Go to museums and landmarks near and around you. Talk to your coworkers, invite whomever you like best for a beer after work one day. Find a class, club, or something that you like to attend for a few hours weekly.
If you are staying focus you energy on building your life where you are now.
It's called WEAPONIZED INCOMPETENCE and it is an act to get you to feel bad and do everything for him and you all.
I hate to say it, but he's only with someone a decade+ younger than him because women his age already can see through that act and won't let him get away with it.
Don't let him get away with him! He is manipulating you
Take as much time off work as you van get. Then talk to a doctor and get a script for varenicline.
Also a lot of smokers have undiagnosed anxiety or adult ADD which they're trying to Self-Medicate for.
Don't get your ego too involved in being “productive” at work or people thinking badly of you because you're feeling strung out for a few weeks. When you make a dime, your boss makes a dollar therefore family comes first. Let the boss kill himself over his work ethic, he's worth it.
I'm not saying that nicotine doesn't help with anxiety, but there's much better treatment options out there that last longer than an hour or so, don't give you a stroke at age 45, and don't make you smell like toasted, lightly fermented ass.
Please talk to a doctor about getting mental health treatment.
Do it for your new child. If you're not willing to switch to
He likes you enough to go over and fuck you. He said he doesn’t want a girlfriend/relationship. Believe him. Instead of hoping this and that mean this and that, ask him if he wants to go on a date and tell him how you feel. Then you can either go on a date, start dating, etc., or move on if he doesn’t want the same thing that you want (which is what he’s told you up to this point). Starry eyed wishful thinking is not a good dating strategy.
I was able to get over it.
Pretty sure you didn't.
Entering hospice care, while emotionally draining isn’t an emergency. As harsh as it sounds, dying can be a lengthy process. Sounds like he stepped up with childcare and there wasn’t anything urgent/unpredictable happening. It’s sad, it’s draining, all true. He needs to go out to unwind when you don’t. He has a different way of decompressing.