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Princess Mia, ❤ https://t.me/lovely_mia, 22 y.o.
Location: Latvia, Riga
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Sometimes things just run their course and it isn't anyone's fault and no one is to blame. It's okay to change as you grow, and the people you grow into may not be compatible anymore. You're still young and you've grown and changed a lot over the past few years, and you've got lots of growing and changing left to do. If your relationship isn't working anymore then it's okay to leave it and move on. It'll be painful, but ultimatelyess painful than forcing something that isn't serving either of you.
How/when do you use your office areas? Are those for work hours only, or do you also spend time in evenings/weekends in there to just game/browse the internet/do whatever hobbies you have?
Yes, I know, when he was working I was 100% okay with him having his door closed, and I never disturbed him. If I really had to ask something, I'd knock. I also closed the door to the living room when I had meetings.
The way I would ideally have it, is that the door is closed when you really don't want to be disturbed (so when you're working, calling with friends/family, situations like that). And keep the door open when you're just chilling and it'd be okay if the other person came in to ask something or chat or just chill in that room too or whatever.
I don't think he wants the mom-teenager dynamic either, and he has issues with how we lived together too. But the issues we had were quite different, and he seemed to want even more privacy than he already had with his own room. And I don't see how that works when you're a couple living together. I also really don't see how that's gonna fix our fucked-up dynamic. In my opinion, the solution would be to view the house, as a whole, as our shared space (so no rooms specifically for persons unless during working hours to work from home), and to share the household so we also both feel responsible for it. So idk if this is even fixable..
No, it's not that. I tried communicating with him several times and I didn't feel this is something he's willing to give his time to
Break-up and date a real adult. The breaking up part is the only advice you need to give him that he needs.
The thing is, she didn't know. He has participated in the lifestyle before, and she hasn't. He should've taken time to explain how it works to her. Besides, it doesn't seem that she can be one of those people who can have sex without emotion attached to it, so the whole swinging thing should probably stop for the sake of their marriage.
ok thanks for the honesty
Ouh I like the mug idea! Since she like bunnies maybe a bunny on a mug.
Well we don’t really have enough info to go off of for that and reproductive problems are incredibly common. Op should go to the doctor to be safe.
It's interesting that you want to leave out how you came about this recent discovery, I have a hunch that may have something to do with the partner wanting to leave…more info needed
depends how often you shower. its proven that showering every single day is bad for your skin. many people with skin conditions find release when they switch to every second day. but depends on if you are active or get very hot enough to perspire.
if she has an issue with your smell etc then you need to do better. but if her issue is just not enough showers then that seems more her problem.
Except she can't work through it herself. She needs individual therapy and you two need couple's counseling, whether she's willing to acknowledge it or not.
Rape (various forms) is a tricky issue in a few rare circumstances. These circumstances are:
You're genuinely unaware of your partner's age but have reason to believe they're of the age of consent, or the partner has actively lied to you about their age. Consent was given, but the partner changed their mind…however, did not indicate they no longer wanted to consent. A medicated partner seems totally coherent/fine, and consents, but later is revealed to have been under the effects of the medication and would not have consented normally. A partner is under an influence or condition in which they are later unable to remember consenting or have no memory of the event at all Two equally inebriated individuals have, at the time, consensual sex.
Why are these issues tricky? If the other person seems lucid and consents, you logically didn't rape them or could not have possibly known it wasn't consensual. The other person can certainly feel violated, but…you have genuinely done nothing wrong. You had no malicious intent, thought you did everything right, and legally aren't at fault. In an instance where the partner wanted to withdraw consent, but chose not to, it's still not assault.
Victims of assault should never be blamed for their assault. However, calling someone a rapist when they had no way of knowing that the consent they received wasn't going to “remain valid” the next day is unacceptable.
Your wife has experienced trauma, and requires therapy. You need joint counseling so she can understand that (based on the facts you've given) you have done nothing wrong and, while her feelings of violation are valid, she can not wholly blame you for them.
This will be a nude road to walk down, OP. Good luck.
My wife suggested having an open marriage early this year. We tried it. We are now in the midst of a bitter divorce. Some people say having an open relationship is great, but…. Make sure you are prepared for all possible scenarios.
Finally someone with some sense
The bottom part is the gem which sparked this whole shabang. I try not to sweat the small stuff. I want to be with him for a long time so I have to pick and choose my battles. I’m also hangry. I haven’t ate all day. It’s post power clean and I don’t want to say the wrong thing in the wrong way. He was trying to be nice but this is not a time to play. Is this whole thing worth putting up with every once in a while or do I shut it down now?
The person you responded to mentioned OP knows she is depressed, so I assumed OP had said that somewhere.
He is not wrong for trying to work it out, but he should unicate his actual motivations. He shouldn't say “you have gained weight and should do something for your health, I do this for you!”, he should have said “I think health and the gym are a priority and I have discovered that I would like a partner that thinks the same. Are you up for that?” if he is hiding his motivations, he isn't really working out anything.
Please remember it's super common for abusers to escalate after a big change in commitment like marriage, moving in together, or having a kid.
What he said was absolutely abusive. And imo him not knowing what his kids like when he sees them regularly is a sign he doesn't really see them as individuals. But as extensions of himself.
This was beyond her control, she deserves your best efforts on YOUR part to get over this. And with time, I think that's absolutely possible. I'm sure it was jarring to see, but ultimately it's just a video. Don't let that asshole succeed.
They hadn't talked for a decade, they go to move in together, and then she pops up pregnant. If they were closer I might understand more. But they weren't close at all. Family is an obligated to do shit. Her body her choice, their lives, their choices.
The love goes out the window with the respect. There is nothing left here but misery. Time to end it.
Read your comment again and ask yourself if those are the actions of someone who has actually moved on.
This sub is absolutely baffling, can anyone explain these downvotes?
you shouldn’t have forgiven either of them tbh. let’s be clear you can never leave your girlfriend alone with anyone never mind your so called best friend because he’s capable of sneaking off and having unprotected sex with them!
I feel so bad for op. They don't see the signs right in front of them.
Abuse, addiction, and adultery are the three deal killers. Moving on is very hot, but staying would be harder. At 31, you have so much life left. Go make it a great one with good people.
If she is leaving because of a baby, she aint for you
If he’s so nonchalant about getting another load when he hasn’t repaid the 20k, it’s likely he probably isn’t going to change in the future. And if he realises he can get you to step up for him, he will just continue to use you as a piggy bank.
You’re life will constantly be a string of financial battles with him and money trust issues. You’ll never be able to properly save up for things you want because he will bleed you dry. There will be bills that he can’t pay because he chose to spend the money he put aside for them on something trivial, and you have to cover them instead. You’ll be the one covering any sudden extra expenses like car repairs, medical bills etc. He’ll ask to borrow money and expect to be able to pay you back the bare minimum back per week/fortnight/month, using the excuse you’re his partner and he shouldn’t have to give you more because he still has things he needs to buy himself. He’ll try to convince you to co-sign loans because he knows he would never get one on his own.
Im sorry I’m being so bleak, but I was in the exact situation you are now and this was ultimately the outcome. Wish you the best of luck.
That's really f***** up and non-consensual. Run for the hills! He doesn't respect you.
Yes, as he finished a residency program.
Some doctors exclusively do research. Before medical school, I worked at a famous research lab with a cardiologist who only did laboratory bench research on genetic diseases.
she's embarrassed. don't try too hard to apologize. just say hi and bye, be nice to her but don't try to start a conversation. u shud b fine