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I do agree with your sentiment, but I also donāt think we have enough information about previous occurrences.
We have a lot of information about this occurrence. Enough for me to see that there were extenuating circumstances, a lot of stress, and an effort on his part to try to connect with his wife prior to the outburst.
Then we have a vague sentence about how this isnāt the first or second time something has happened.
Itās possible that there have been 5 instances over the course of the entire multi-year relationship. Itās possible that the details of those situations would show that OP also contributed to those situations in an unhealthy manner.
Like you I grew up with some unhealthy behaviors going on and for my situation, both parties contributed. Person A would try to get something resolved in a reasonable manner for quite some time while Person B poked at them and dodged the problem until eventually person A hit their limit and overreacted and person B said āyou have problems and need help and caused this whole problemā. At the end of the day both people were equally responsible. Iāve also experienced relationships where one person absolutely put their anger on others and did so all by themselves.
Without the details of the other situations and honestly without the other personās side, i donāt think itās possible to determine what is really going on here. I donāt mean to downplay the husbandās outburst or justify it, but I also donāt think āthis isnāt the first time this has happenedā is really enough info for us to be basing any conclusion on.
Thank you- this is really sweet
Where does it say he wants to take their daughter?
I communicated what I needed, she still refused.
Yeah. It's a communication issue.
But is being a psychopath who deliberately goes out of his way to lure a transwoman out to kill simply because he saw her on tinder more common than being a dude who loses his shit because he's been lied to for 5 months?
Because the former is straight up serial killer behaviour. The latter sounds much more common and expected.
How would you feel if his girlfriend bought him some something personal for him.
If my bfs female friends did? I wouldn't take it too seriously personally, she's treating her friend nice and it's sweet. I've bought a lot of personal things for my friends with helpful intentions or just to make them happy. I think I'd be concerned if she's too physically like giving kisses and touching his nono spots, or putting her nono spots on him.
You do know that for some people, getting or giving gifts is part of their love language? This is where is can get confusing
I know about that love language but I always thought the “love” part was to just be sweet without other intentions š
Because you cheated on her. And it was with her grandfather.
You are 56 years old. You can't actually be that stupid, can you?
Since then he has been transparent and on good behavior. That is a good idea, but I have feelings of hostility towards her for the way she interacted with him (complimenting him, inviting him out on the weekend) and I would not want to be rude to her and damage his work relationship or make her uncomfortable. I guess I could stop by his office and just say hello, maybe just so she knows for sure I exist.
Some couples are secure enough in their relationship that something like this is where you tell him to stop it. Why is he telling you about it? Unless he knows it will get under your skin. If heās having problems staying hard have you considered he might be watching porn? Or does he have ED? Either way itās pushing you buttons in a bad way. You need to ask questions. His behavior is off.