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Organise several couple therapy appointments. Give her the ultimatum that either she comes with you, or you’ll go anyway and use the time to process your new life without her. At the appointment, be brave and clear and tell it like it is. Include the phrase ‘now she even wants to police my sleep’. It will help you immensely to hear yourself say it out aloud. It will help her to hear that it is a big deal. It will help in the future so you can say ‘I did my best to make it work’. You never know, it might even improve your marriage. Sometimes things slide over time and you need a short, sharp shock to push it back on the rails. Whatever happens, therapy is going to change things.
A great mom doesnt put her children thru the destruction of their family.