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If sex in a relationship is important to you, you might want to move on to someone new.
He did not say she has been telling her for 3 years. He said he just found out – probably she just told her and anytime theres a convo about it she brushes off
There was another reddit story where the husband pressured the wife into getting pregnant and it gave her so much anxiety that it wound up killing her and now the husband sees his regrets every time he looks at his child. He knows if he wouldn't have pressured her, she would've still been happy and alive. There are several other stories of situations where one person pressured the other into having kids and now they hate each other and the kids for it, just glance through reddit a bit and I'm sure you'll find some of these stories
We do actionable advice about relationships that exist right now.
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Hello /u/skila12,
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We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
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Hello /u/Dizzy_Hotel_6079,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
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Yes. Putting someone through that level of repeated emotional stress is not healthy or normal.
Well that was a read. I’ll be responding to select parts that stuck out to me:
1.) To be extremely vague but give some details on the situation from my late adolescence, got taken out of my house, therefore separating her, my family, and myself. Fast forward through several psych wards, group homes, foster homes, and waiting for each other, I’m now back home. Yadda yadda r/feelsgoodman
2.) Neither of us have been in the best place mentally. The past couple months’ve been rough in a lot of ways, but it is what it is.
3.) Patience is a big virtue of mine. It took a LOT of buildup before I cracked and made this post.
4.) We’ve been attempting to work on communicating about things (varied success) and it’s the cause of a lot of our disputes. I’m not deflecting shame or guilt, but I’ve definitely been better recently than she has.
5.) Relatable on the hormonal imbalance. I’ve been diagnosed by several different doctors with a few different conditions.
6.) She hates taking medications. When she was seventeen (like right after we got together) she was caught with self-harm scars (6 weeks?) and was put on like two different medications. They didn’t last. She doesn’t like the emotional numbness, and apparently this is consistent across all the different prescriptions she’s tried.
7.) Of course I intend to stay and help raise the gremlin. I could go on a spiel about my emotions about my relationship, but I’m sure that’s evident by me going out of my way to make this post to begin with.
8.) Insert self-assuring comment about me being better than my parents here.
9.) Didn’t have a dad, died when I was 3, never knew him.
10.) Also don’t have a mother. Abused drugs and abused her kids.
11.) Needless to say I don’t have high standards to surpass. If I make it to my 30th birthday I’d have best them both.
But yeah. That’s kind of the state of things right now. I don’t want pity or empathy. I get that way too much regarding my upbringing. I appreciate the advice and the reassurance, should you call it that.
Girlfriend, he was not surprised to find out you were under 25. This is Older Man Pursuing Naïve Young Woman 101. I guarantee you every woman in this sub who is over 25-30 years old remembers hearing that from a “respectful” and “responsible” older man. I’ve heard it myself countless times.
The thing is, you are only here looking for validation, so chances are you will not take any of these warnings or advice to heart. You will have to learn this the hard way, and that’s going to suck, but most of is have gone through it and we’ll be here for you on the other side.
I'm attracted to lots of people, but having sex with them is the furthest thing from my mind. I used to think that made me less human. That is to say: finding someone attractive and feeling turned on by them aren't necessarily the same thing. For most people they're so inherently interdependent that they're basically the same thing, but for some those two things aren't necessarily related. Society isn't very kind to those who don't fall in to the default.
Not that I think that's what's happening here necessarily; just pointing out that basically two people can say the same thing but mean different things because their lived experience is different and admitting certain things to oneself and others might be harder than it seems. I'm rooting for you. You deserve to feel wanted.
You should go, but you could try to keep the LDR going (if you feel like it). Either he will come around and move to you later, or you will realize that you rather date one of your cute classmates and break-up with your LDR. Or maybe you will even realize that you enjoy being single in a new country.
Either way, you should definitely go! He's doing what he feels is best for him, why should you also do what is best for him? Do what is best for you! It is your life.
I'm autistic and adhd. My partner has at least adhd. I can see where some of his issues could stem back to his diagnosis, but it doesnt make it any less cruel to you and it doesnt hurt you any less.
It seems he is rigid when it suits him and impulsive when it suits him. You say he makes you more playfull, but you sound miserable. He is angry when he persieves something as unjust, but when he treats you in an unjust way that harms you, he doesnt understand why he should care. You say you usually have good convos, but if he disagrees he will talk down at you. You say you are a good team that makes up for each others short comings, please look at your cons list, based on that alone I have a hard time believing that. You're not even sure he likes you as a person.
Is he in solo treatment? Therapy? Medicated? Autistic and adhd people are individuals, some can change and grow, some will struggle a lot. Me and my partner are working hard on finding ways to navigate our different challenges. Key word being me AND my partner. We are actively working on it as a team. There are nude convos and sometimes we hurt each others feelings without realizing or understanding, but we come together and assess the situation, what happened and what we want to try next time. It only moves forward because we are both pushing in the same direction together. If he cant or wont (part of autistic and adhd people being individuals is that some of us are simply just assholes as well) help you push together with you in that direction, then you'll continue to have a partner that you dont even know if he likes you as a person.
My girlfriend danced pretty much naked (just panties) with two guys who were groping her.
Wait a minute, you also said she's very drunk? How about the friends…ahem..your friends…why are they groping her? Were they drunk too?
I mean, if they're not and if it were my friend's bf/gf, I wouldn't be groping them AT ALL under any circumstances. WTF is wrong with “friends” these days? Yikes.
You're not overreacting, but dang, there's a bunch of ppl deserving to be CUT OFF from your life STAT.
Ive felt the same way somewhat. You need to find something to do yourself. This is purely a you problem. You have to make friends or find a hobby or a way to spend time alone.
Go talk to your friend (the boss) about it and say you're uncomfortable with him taking her to lunch. Don't make her be the one to decline and having to explain to him why.
Those are all emotional responses.
You haven’t actually shown why they are wrong.
That type of thinking is what got you this relationship and probably repeating it. You need to take accountability or it will happen again.
We had that in our neighborhood. Two women due at the same time. Battle of the inclusive. One family mixed race, the other family two mothers. The mixed race family heard the planned name of the lesbian family and used the name. It’s not a common name, at all.
So in K-4 there were two “very uncommon named” girls. I sat back with a bucket of popcorn.
You sound like a lovesick teenage girl.