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Sexual incompatibility is just not something you can resolve. It would honestly be best for you both to get more clear on how important this is and whether he can on-line without this.
It would not be selfish to decide not to marry him after all. If you marry him feeling uncertain of your vows, that's a much bigger hurt.
But I think the two of you should go to a couples counselor and talk through this sex thing. It might make you more confident of whatever decision you do make.
Not only that… it is abusive behavior. Considering the context it does stand out.
If she bleeds she breeds. So fucked up.
So breakup with him if you aren't getting what you need.
As for the promising to change…make your partners write that shit down. HOW are they going to work on it and change? What steps are they going to use to get there? Don't settle for being palmed off.
YTA 100000%. You shouldn’t be “testing” your partner at all, that’s extremely unhealthy to do. She’s lucky you broke up with her now, or else I wonder if she’d be tested for the rest of your relationship.
“I don’t shit where I eat”
Before or after you were caught?
Sometimes the heart wants what they don’t have. They are more desirable. If you truly think you want him back, be honest and tell him. If you truly want to move on, you’ll find someone. You’re still young so it makes sense that this guy still lingers on in your heart.