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I see things drastically different than the other commenters here.
Different people have different “fighting styles”, part of that is people react differently to being upset. I’m sure you’ve seen her upset when it doesn’t involve you, maybe upset at work or family or some such. I’m guessing you see a modified version of when she’s upset with you.
I’m guessing your “fighting style” is the peacekeeper. You see a problem and want to fix it.
It doesn’t sound like she’s being intentionally cruel to you, it sounds like she withdraws into herself when she’s upset.
I’m not sure what about that is hurtful to you (I don’t mean that dismissively, just that there are multiple pieces that can feel shitty) but I think the conversation with her should be twofold.
1: identify how each of you reacts to having a fight or being upset.
2: identify the common ground, ask what each of you needs in that moment to get to the common ground and agree to do that for each other.
An example would be: she says when she’s upset she just can’t handle talking about it until she’s processed things. It’s reasonable for her to need a break to think, maybe the common ground is, you tell her “I feel like you are upset, I’m going to give you a little time. I’ll come get you in an hour and let’s talk through it”.
Her part of the compromise is to acknowledge and allow this to happen (in the moment)as opposed to say everything is fine.
She gets her time, you get to talk it out, she acknowledges the feeling and that she’s willing to have a conversation about it.
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lol
It’s never been harder to be 25 and buses aren’t some magical system that go where and when you want, particularly as a young woman. The dad could’ve offered his car but instead went “I want to take my new kids to Disney”
I think she will feel most secure if she is making her own money. I don't think you giving her any amount of money will make her feel secure. What is her career?
Thanks for putting effort into helping me! Truly means a lot to me, and yes I see what you mean I will make more of an effort to show my DIl I love her that way she will give me some more leeway with my grandbaby!!
So your roommate is doing free car work for you, but is unwilling to give you his car despite your demands.
Your girlfriend comes and helps you, but is wasting your time.
Your girlfriend and roommate BOTH come and help you but are clearly cheating.
…. Yes, you owe them apologies, and honestly need to work on figuring out how to deal with the sense of entitlement that you appear to have, because you are going to lose 2 people who appear to care about you if you keep treating them like this.
I trust it's the pain and torment causing you act so stupidly. Cause crikey kid, wake up and smell the coffee.