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“How do I tell them” questions always have the same answer. You tell them. Kindly and honestly.
Dam, so agree
I am in agreeance about avoiding the appearance of anything suspicious like sharing Uber and going into their home for a length of time (I'm not even sure how long he was there for). I know I personally would avoid that too. He obviously is different than me in that regard it seems. They do know he has a gf. It was the first or second time that they hung out he told me that he mentioned to her that he has a gf.
I tend to have to look for reassurance or create it in myself during these situations because if I bring it up (I have many times on many other occasions with other women) he says to stop being jealous and insecure and that he loves me. I was cheated on in my first relationship so these actions severely trigger me and induce fear so I am careful to bring in logic and see all sides before jumping to conclusion and reacting out of emotions like I used to in the first year we were together. I've gone to weekly therapy for 3 years now to help grow.
I would say that this behavior is normal for him and also normal to not let me get the wrong idea only when I bring up my feelings to him, otherwise he goes about his life with these type of behaviors and perhaps isn't fully aware that these could potentially look “off”? This isn't the first female friendship and behaviors that have piqued questioning. Again, knowing my previous history these situations could be normal for any friendship but they feel bigger to me because of fear. I want to be aware of that and also cautious to not let anything slip past me.
Not only that but apparently dad really got along with her ex who turned out to be a cheater and emotionally abusive. It's expected from her dad to be cautious following what he probably sees as failure on his part. Is it ideal? Surely not but her forcing it is just going to make it worse.
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My husband had incorrect subject verb agreement, for instance saying “It don't matter” instead of “it doesn't matter.” For a while I tried to correct him. But eventually I decided it don't matter at all! I love him and his ways and he can talk anyway he wants to.
I suggest you just get used to it and accept it. If you can't, maybe you are being too shallow. Look at it this way, if that's his worst mistake, you landed a good one!
I have no sympathy here because why is it shocking that a married man isn’t the best partner. His relationship was toxic? I’m sure he will say the same thing about you to the next gullible person
I agree with this take. I think both ladies are essentially right, he made promises and arrangements with the ex and they're not yet completed and legal. Which means he's probably not even emotionally ready to be buying houses with someone new. This is a whole mess that doesn't have to be if he would just slow down with the gf and get his affairs in order with his family and feelings.
We do have sex but that’s it nothing more than that and I have told him before but he keeps saying he’s not ready for one
What's her name? I've most likely dated her at some point.