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Gaslighting
this sounds exactly like something my ex would do. i just got out of a relationship w someone who was the perfect gentleman for the first 3 months then started treating me like shit on the bottom of his shoe in these very immature but calculated ways zeroing in on things he knew i was insecure abt and doubling down on them when i told him he was hurting me. things only got worse to the point where i felt like a shell of the person i was when we met. when i would ask him why he wasnt being nice anymore like he used to b he would just gaslight me or explain “i just had to get to know you”. then when he had isolated me from all the friends i had just made after i moved across the country to b w him he told me he was “going to make us new friends” and i saw him do the same thing w them. shower them in compliments, demand their attention at all times, hype them up and put them on a pedestal and i realized that the first 3 months of our relationship werent real. this was how he v calculatedly reeled ppl in only to degrade and dispose of them later when they wouldnt give him all the praise and attention he craved.
From experience: it depends! For some guy, it also depends on how hot they are. In all cases, it’s normal either way.
Quite literally just get over her and focus on yourself.
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People on Reddit get really uptight and indignant about posts like this. I have not read the comments, but I suspect that there is or will be no shortage of comments vilifying your husband for thinking that you did something or sent a subtle signal that would lead to this.
My question is: Do you have a history of people outside the marriage making offers on you or thinking that you're interested? Because if you do, that would or should be concerning to any husband.
I had a situation this past July where I was at an outdoor patio/pool party and I left my wife alone for about 30-40 seconds and this guy crossed about 100 ft. of patio and ran over to talk to her. He practically knocked over half the party goers getting there. Previous to that, at least 1 guy has propositioned her and 2 other guys have shown interest in just the past 10 years. One of those two guys was just last week. At some point, even if it's inadvertent, it has to be something you or my wife is doing that gives off a 'I'm good to go' vibe. While I'm flattered that I'm married to someone that guys deem fuckable, this isn't happening in a vacuum. I don't believe in coincidences, especially when I ask friends who have attractive wives how many times their wives have been propositioned or hit on and they tell me 'zero.' This is not necessarily something that you're deliberately doing wrong. But you should look inward to see what led to this and possibly other similar things that you aren't mentioning here.
I get a lot of people are saying it wasn’t your sister’s place to say anything but given your background I’ve gotta say it was an irresponsible but well meant decision at best.
I think you need to give your sister time to breathe and then call her in a few days. She probably felt embarrassed that your parents basically disowned her and was rude to her new girlfriend. Maybe offer to find a day when the 3 of you can get together at some point in the future and have your own dinner, that way it’s a sort of open support scenario.
As for your parents… religion makes this complicated. They were in the wrong for yelling slurs and in the wrong for kicking them out. Period. With that said maybe you need to talk with them and tell them their actions are unacceptable. If they don’t like you either so be it, but you’ve gotta stand up for your sister even when she’s not around.
You’re not choosing between your sister and your girlfriend. Your girlfriend is doing the choosing because she is the one who wants to (potentially) end the relationship. You should do what you need to do to help your sister. If you doing that means that she breaks up with you…that’s HER choice. Not yours.
Your wish is to help your sister AND stay with your girlfriend.
Sorry, but be doesn't sound very monogamous and like he's kind if screwing with you.
If you aren't comfortable with this, then your best bet is to cut it off now.
First of all, thank you for your answer! When I said that 20 messages was little, it's mostly compared to the number of messages we used to send each other before and I still count the short messages like “ok nice :)”. What do you mean by vaguely suspicious?I'll try to apply your advice to see if it works for me and if it gets better by the time I go to her place!
Oh darling I am so SO sorry for what you're going through. But you leave. And you leave soon. This is now an abusive relationship and those don't magically heal through talking. Even with a therapist. It is dangerous to go to therapy with an abuser.
I’ve brought it up before saying i’d like to just do things like a “normal” couple like relaxing nights in or cute cinema dates etc. but his response to that is saying he doesn’t want to be a “normal” couple.
Lol:
he doesn’t want to be a “normal” couple.
It would be completely valid to leave him and find someone who makes you feel more like a priority and genuinely wants to spend time with you.
A lot of what you said sounds like some minimal expectations. Like sure, to some people staying in can be boring… but to take this stance in a relationship:
His idea of something for us to do is to meet his friends and chill with them
Means you're just convenient for him… Yup, go sit in my room while I have friends over. I have no interest in spending any time with you. Oh but sex? Yes, I will be there for that!
Please find someone else who enjoys cuddling the same as you. There are TONs of people who love watching movies with their SO.
See above.
Jealous Jealous Jealous your friend is not your friend
Do you want to be a single mom? Do you want to deal with him to co-parent?
Are you ready for all of the responsibilities of a parent?
Go to the regretfulparents sub and read some of the stories there.
Try a different form of contraception if your current form of BC keeps failing.