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His behavior never escalated to this point
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The kids are 4 and 6. She's 25.
You don't treat little kids and adults the same.
I didn’t cancel on my “date”. I spend all day everyday with her and I informed her that I’d be gone for only a couple of hours, which I was.
She has met this friend and we’ve even spent nights together (all 3 of us plus other people). She did not intimate that she was uncomfortable at all with me hanging out with the girl. If she did, i wouldn’t have.
I like the objectivity of your comment.
He sounds like a real winner, that one. Lies about saving money, spends lavishly, loves to show off, feels totally ok mooching off his brother for an insane loan (anyone with half a conscience would feel super guilty), had the audacity to go into bankruptcy in his early 20s probably because he had delusions of grandeur, now he’s gaslighting you.
He has narcissist written all over him. Red flags all the way. What else is he lying about? Run!
My husband and I were able to save up for a 50k down payment in exactly a year and a half making less than 6 figures between the 2 of us (fortunately now things are better but it was tough then!) If your fiancé makes 7x any salary he’s probably able to save up at least 100k in a year if he’s not a moron. if your fiancé can’t stop being a baby and save up some money then how do you expect him to have the maturity to have kids, not spend you into the poorhouse, not cheat on you? I’ve never met a “live for the moment” guy who’s been faithful to his girlfriend/wife. That type of immaturity and impulsivity is simply not conducive to that. Look, im not trying to generalize, im sure they exist, im just speaking from experience.
You’re right, you probably won’t love anyone else the same. You’ll probably love them in a completely newfound way that exists outside of abuse. Ik it’s hard but you have to get out. Make a plan, take it step by step, and get out. I’ve been in abusive relationships before so I have some experience. DM me if you need help or someone to talk to.