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Rules for dating are stupid, do what’s best for yourself and your comfort, be honest and upfront, if they don’t like it then you know it’s not the person to keep dating
I’m not a big break person either. I’ve tried it in past relationships and it never went well. When I say everything else is perfect I mean everything like we connect spiritually, emotionally, physically, intellectually, all the ways. And we both see the issue in our communication and conflict resolution and are actively working on it. I don’t love the situation but I really want to save this.
That's exactly my point; bringing up things like hypothetical reservations, and your personal experiences with restaurants and their distance from your house are pointless. The details op provided are not hypothetical, and that's what this conversation should be about. Everything outside of that is irrelevant unless op expands on what she already explained.
I really had never considered a prenup. I came from a middle class family, and I don’t make anything crazy, just enough to pay my bills, afford a little bit of extra fun, and save for the future.
Well, first off you don't need his permission; you can get a tattoo if you want a tattoo and he doesn't get to forbid it. Of course at the same time he can react to it however he wants and you can't control that. He might sulk for a minute, he might make a rude comment every time he sees it, he might even decide a tattoo is worth ending a 13 year marriage over if he's especially crazy and unreasonable.
Personally, my advice to you is to get it, and here's why. You wanted this tattoo when you graduated college, which I'm guessing was about 20 years ago? Potentially even longer than you two have been together? You've been wanting this tattoo for two decades. Clearly it's important to you if you haven't forgotten it in all this time, and I would hope that if you explain that to your husband that he would understand and not let his personal preferences about body art on other people stop you from doing it. It's one tattoo, it's not like you're going to turn into the Illustrated Woman overnight.
If you don't have the design set in stone yet and just have a general idea of what you want, maybe enlist his help in designing it? He might feel less put off by this if he's involved in the planning process, maybe you can get something you both like. But at the end of the day whether he's onboard or not this has clearly been important to you for a long time, and your husband should realize that occasionally spouses endorse things they're not actually excited about just because it matters to their partner.
Your comment needs to be higher up.
Direct and to the point. Actions have consequences. BF knows his consequences. OP’s family still has a chance to choose wisely and not lose their daughter.
Take my upvote ⬆️⬆️⬆️
INFO: How often does he see this friend?
I have two ways of viewing this. One is that he rarely sees her. He used to talk about her a lot because they hung out a lot, but years have passed, they've grown older, he is with his girlfriend most of the time, and doesn't really have time to hang out. So she texts him when she needs a last minute “date” and doesn't really put a lot of thought into the girlfriend she does not know at all. Just like he puts little thought into her offer once he realized he already had plans with you. Honestly, she might have been trying to arrange meetups for a while, and he has been blowing them off because he would rather just stay in with you. Maybe she's interested. Maybe not. I like that she knew to say friend date, and that asking him on a date would be weird. Either way, HE is not interested.
But if he sees her regularly – I would also not be comfortable, and would need to address it. It is strange that he has a close friend that you have only met once. That this close friend, who knows he is with you, thinks nothing of flippantly telling him to cancel on you. Male or female, if he is close with them, they should be aware of his relationship and respect it. And this kind of indicates that he has allowed a lowering of boundaries.
Not the end of the world. But worth the discussion.
I don't think you should worry or even be insecure. Nothing about those texts indicate cheating, and nothing about his behavior (because he could have made up an excuse and lied and cancelled on you) indicates he has any interest in being with her instead of you. I don't think your past conversation is a sign of anything other than young people aware of potential dates. Sure, she was someone he would have been fine considering dating. I'm sure there were plenty of guys when you were in your early 20s that you would have maybe said yes if they asked you out. But you never pursued relationships with those guys, and he never pursued one with her. Whatever that extra hump is that makes people take the leap beyond the observation of reasonably compatible person into the person they want to pursue – he didn't have that with her.
Why do you feel okay competing with this guy??
You did the right thing. That's a boy, not a man. He should grow tf out. You deserve better!
Okay here are my thoughts. I raised my kids to have manners and show respect. It was a huge thing in my house
Now, your daughter saying “Shoo, go away” is nowhere near Fuck Off. Your daughter did absolutely nothing wrong. Hell what she did isn’t even disrespectful because they were playing a game for crying out loud and your mother was getting on her nerves. All Step dad should have said was “Claire don’t be sassy” (if she even was). Now that you have explained to your mom that Claire wasn’t saying F Off. She should drop it. But no, she keep’s doubling down. Even after your daughter apologized. Which by the way was IMO a good one. If this were my my mom and I were you. I would say “okay mom, now you are being dramatic and reading way to much into this entire thing. If you don’t stop texting my daughter and get off your high horse. Im going to actually tell you to Fuck Off. You are starting to piss me off. Because you are now in the wrong. And I will not tolerate you doing this to her anymore. “.