This doesn’t sound good… I see your comment that says he’s reading the messages now but still idk. I don’t want to scare you but I went through this with an ex and he wasn’t answering bc he ended up being dead. That was almost 6 years ago and not responding to my texts will make me fucking crazy so fast. I’d maybe start calling around. I really Don’t want to scare you but what do you mean when you said you know how people get set up around here?
You being with other guys is not going to solve your problems and bring you closer. On the other hand, just having the freedom to meet other girls might give him a sense of freedom, that allows him to miss you and want to commit to you if…. it does not work out with another girl. It is a huge risk.
If you are really done, then meet other guys and really walk away, if not and 4 months are not a big sacrifice. I would not get physical with other men.
What if he comes back and appreciates you, but then finds you have been with other men and then he drops you because of that.
Yeah, your relationship sounds healthy. Married for 60 years style. Your roommate should not be trusted here. She's trying to sabotage your relationship for unknowable reasons. Perhaps she has never seen a happy relationship before.
He says his finger got jammed? Tell him you're concerned he has a joint disorder, recommend he go to the doctor.
He says his back hurts? Tell him you're concerned he pulled muscle, tell him to rest and ice it until he can visit a doctor.
He says he's worn out? Tell him you're concerned there's something wrong with his heart, because at his age it's concerning he's so tired for something so minor…and recommend he go to the doctor.
Children act more mature than he's been acting, so you need to act like a concerned parent. I expect it won't take too long before he starts arguing back that he doesn't need to see a doctor thank you very much, that he's perfectly fine and you're overreacting. And once he says that… Explain that his behavior is so over the top and disproportionate that you have started to become seriously concerned. Because when he's so uncomfortable and pained doing daily life tasks, there has to either be something genuinely wrong, or he's acting. And you know he's not acting, a grown man wouldn't act like that.
I'm curious what he'd do in that situation, aren't you?
Firstly, my boyfriend is religious, catholic, and I am not. With this comes more conservative leaning views. For example he is pro-life. I on the other hand am pro-choice.
OP, you're not compatible at all.
When we had the abortion conversation, he ended it with “let’s just never talk about this again”.
BS, you can't ignore this topic, especially as a woman. WHY would you ever want to have sex with a man who will try forcing you to have a child, no matter what it means to your own health? What if he forces your potential future daughter or son to go through giving birth to an unwanted child?
Find out if you are good for each other. Sounds like you're not. Have a serious talk and be willing to let her go if her energy is going to keep draining you.
It's a huge red flag that her response when you complained to her is that you are toxic and a bad boyfriend.
To me, you are not overreacting. Of course, she will cut men's hair in that line of work, but I don't feel it's appropriate to be alone, in a car, with some other guy late at night. It's not really about trusting her. It's just inappropriate.
Thanks a lot for putting effort towards helping me. I married her because she seemed a good fit to me. Now, some of my views about how unattractive body fat can be, have changed and she has got a bit more heavy too. Thanks for the advice on healthier foods. I think both of us fairly understand the point about meat you are making. What we try to avoid for her is rice, sugar, refined floor etc. I do encourage to eat meat and legumes to get a good fill of proteins, which I believe are absolutely important when you are trying to get overall healthy. The preparing vegetable food was just an example. I noticed that she need less hungry without eating a lot of calories if she has one meal solely made of fruit and vegetables. She watches youtube videos on healthy diets regularly, and she has consulted a few nutritionists on what to eat. Thanks a lot for suggesting going on walks together. Luckily, we already do that. Not daily, but quite often.
Your point about one bad week not undoing it all is also great. I feel the same way and try to be as supportive as possible whenever she takes any action in the positive direction. I wouldn't say I have always supportive, because I make mistakes sometimes, but I can very confidently say I try my best and I am positive to her most of the times.
I know that I wouldn’t forget if I was him, but he’s not me. ? I haven’t heard anything about his journey and I’ve offered to help him find what he was looking for in the past since I know how hard it can be sometimes calling around. And gave a generous deadline since it can take a while to find someone who’s taking new patients.
He has a problem. A hobby is one thing, and gaming is perfectly fine for a hobby or means of relaxation/escape. But it's clear it's overtaken his life and he seems legitimately addicted.
You basically have two options. The first is to just content yourself with the fact that this is how it's gonna be. Guessing that's not what you want.
The other is to try to enact some change. But the only thing that can spur radical change or unseat deeply habitual things is radical actions. By that I mean, you are gonna have to lay down the law: either games or you. Assuming that it does mean this much to you (because an empty threat is not gonna help), you will have to tell him that you aren't messing around that you will leave him over it.
The question after that will be how to proceed. Some gaming, but with strict limits? Or none at all. Sounds to me like he would need to go through a long spell of “drying out”, at minimum.
There's a reason you don't trust him to care for you when you're sick, large from pregnancy or vulnerable, staying home from work and dependant on this guy, and you should listen to that feeling.
Because it's not just saying you don't want a kid. It's saying you don't feel safe having a kid with this specific man.
If you think it will get to a point where he'll become more verbally abusive or force the issue, you should probably consider leaving.
I'd say I'm pretty good about not acting solely on emotion and having an insanity filter. As such I haven't really done anything besides ask for more affection and ask her if she thinks that she's more attractive than I. One time she was at a party and called me for a dd, I was a little upset for multiple reasons. She had work in the morning and she was locked out of her house so she had to crash at my place for the night and rely on me for a ride. Either way I called her to let her know I was outside and she picked up the phone and I thought she moaned. Almost instinctively I asked her if she was f#cking someone else. She of course denied it and I had a long night of trying to babysit a drunk girl on my hands but that's about the only insane thing I've done.
He’s lacks emotionally intelligence and regulation and critical thinking. He’s immature, insecure and doesn’t value your concerns enough to reflect and change. I’m fact, he outright dismisses them. He’s a 32 year old man—he should posses and practice these skills; it’s basic shit for a healthy relationship!
This man is not safe. He ignored your boundaries and straight up assaulted you, and he will do it again. He's not even sorry about it. Please please break up with him and stay safe.
at your wedding you get to pick who goes, so its up to you, but be careful if you do invite her, maybe dont leave her around your soon to be husband alone,,,
If it Unus Annus, I'd get one with her. Momento Mori. But otherwise I think more context would be needed.
This doesn’t sound good… I see your comment that says he’s reading the messages now but still idk. I don’t want to scare you but I went through this with an ex and he wasn’t answering bc he ended up being dead. That was almost 6 years ago and not responding to my texts will make me fucking crazy so fast. I’d maybe start calling around. I really Don’t want to scare you but what do you mean when you said you know how people get set up around here?
You being with other guys is not going to solve your problems and bring you closer. On the other hand, just having the freedom to meet other girls might give him a sense of freedom, that allows him to miss you and want to commit to you if…. it does not work out with another girl. It is a huge risk.
If you are really done, then meet other guys and really walk away, if not and 4 months are not a big sacrifice. I would not get physical with other men.
What if he comes back and appreciates you, but then finds you have been with other men and then he drops you because of that.
Exactly. I totally agree
This post made my head hurt.
The person even asked me to not even flirt with people and wait for them.
This is the reason you break up right here. She doesn’t give a shit about you. Her world revolves around her and you are just an accessory to her.
How long have you been married? Was he like this before you got married?
Sounds like you need a new husband.
Oh nah if that was my girl I would have ended it Straight away
Don't forget him: learn from him.
Yeah, your relationship sounds healthy. Married for 60 years style. Your roommate should not be trusted here. She's trying to sabotage your relationship for unknowable reasons. Perhaps she has never seen a happy relationship before.
I second this advice.
Distribute live!
There is a sub but it's relatively new so all the posts are currently reposts r/justnoagegap
Start taking him 100% at his word.
He says his finger got jammed? Tell him you're concerned he has a joint disorder, recommend he go to the doctor.
He says his back hurts? Tell him you're concerned he pulled muscle, tell him to rest and ice it until he can visit a doctor.
He says he's worn out? Tell him you're concerned there's something wrong with his heart, because at his age it's concerning he's so tired for something so minor…and recommend he go to the doctor.
Children act more mature than he's been acting, so you need to act like a concerned parent. I expect it won't take too long before he starts arguing back that he doesn't need to see a doctor thank you very much, that he's perfectly fine and you're overreacting. And once he says that… Explain that his behavior is so over the top and disproportionate that you have started to become seriously concerned. Because when he's so uncomfortable and pained doing daily life tasks, there has to either be something genuinely wrong, or he's acting. And you know he's not acting, a grown man wouldn't act like that.
I'm curious what he'd do in that situation, aren't you?
I would give a reason, bec. ghosting is mean and maybe he can learn from your input in the future, but of course this is your decission
Because he thinks you aren't attractive enough to be with other attractive guys, and now is worried he is dating below his league.
Firstly, my boyfriend is religious, catholic, and I am not. With this comes more conservative leaning views. For example he is pro-life. I on the other hand am pro-choice.
OP, you're not compatible at all.
When we had the abortion conversation, he ended it with “let’s just never talk about this again”.
BS, you can't ignore this topic, especially as a woman. WHY would you ever want to have sex with a man who will try forcing you to have a child, no matter what it means to your own health? What if he forces your potential future daughter or son to go through giving birth to an unwanted child?
This is good advice, I feel like he could develop feelings if it is just them two all the time.
That seems a bit extreme.
Find out if you are good for each other. Sounds like you're not. Have a serious talk and be willing to let her go if her energy is going to keep draining you.
It's a huge red flag that her response when you complained to her is that you are toxic and a bad boyfriend.
I'm sorry. I don't mean to make light of your trauma. But how did he force you exactly? Did he push the pills down your throat?
Oh no, the blowjob machine is broken! I put my money in but I didn't get my blowjob!
your boyfriend
Or re-homed with someone who has experience and will actually help this dog. Poor thing is gonna get put down because OP isn't a good dog owner.
Even then, how would you rationalize splitting the equity of the property 50/50? Unless she pays more to the principle/ replenish the account?
Nope, but once knew someone like the ex. Ppl like that are pure evil. They destroy everything and everyone.
To me, you are not overreacting. Of course, she will cut men's hair in that line of work, but I don't feel it's appropriate to be alone, in a car, with some other guy late at night. It's not really about trusting her. It's just inappropriate.
Thanks a lot for putting effort towards helping me. I married her because she seemed a good fit to me. Now, some of my views about how unattractive body fat can be, have changed and she has got a bit more heavy too. Thanks for the advice on healthier foods. I think both of us fairly understand the point about meat you are making. What we try to avoid for her is rice, sugar, refined floor etc. I do encourage to eat meat and legumes to get a good fill of proteins, which I believe are absolutely important when you are trying to get overall healthy. The preparing vegetable food was just an example. I noticed that she need less hungry without eating a lot of calories if she has one meal solely made of fruit and vegetables. She watches youtube videos on healthy diets regularly, and she has consulted a few nutritionists on what to eat. Thanks a lot for suggesting going on walks together. Luckily, we already do that. Not daily, but quite often.
Your point about one bad week not undoing it all is also great. I feel the same way and try to be as supportive as possible whenever she takes any action in the positive direction. I wouldn't say I have always supportive, because I make mistakes sometimes, but I can very confidently say I try my best and I am positive to her most of the times.
I know that I wouldn’t forget if I was him, but he’s not me. ? I haven’t heard anything about his journey and I’ve offered to help him find what he was looking for in the past since I know how hard it can be sometimes calling around. And gave a generous deadline since it can take a while to find someone who’s taking new patients.
He has a problem. A hobby is one thing, and gaming is perfectly fine for a hobby or means of relaxation/escape. But it's clear it's overtaken his life and he seems legitimately addicted.
You basically have two options. The first is to just content yourself with the fact that this is how it's gonna be. Guessing that's not what you want.
The other is to try to enact some change. But the only thing that can spur radical change or unseat deeply habitual things is radical actions. By that I mean, you are gonna have to lay down the law: either games or you. Assuming that it does mean this much to you (because an empty threat is not gonna help), you will have to tell him that you aren't messing around that you will leave him over it.
The question after that will be how to proceed. Some gaming, but with strict limits? Or none at all. Sounds to me like he would need to go through a long spell of “drying out”, at minimum.
He 100% watches too much porn with death grip. You deserve someone with a brain. Don’t move in with him.
Sounds like my wife 1 week out of every month…
There's a reason you don't trust him to care for you when you're sick, large from pregnancy or vulnerable, staying home from work and dependant on this guy, and you should listen to that feeling.
Because it's not just saying you don't want a kid. It's saying you don't feel safe having a kid with this specific man.
If you think it will get to a point where he'll become more verbally abusive or force the issue, you should probably consider leaving.
i’m not entirely sure what this post is supposed to mean. do you mean look at other guys in real life or watch porn?
Awwwwww❤️ your sweet as heck
I'd say I'm pretty good about not acting solely on emotion and having an insanity filter. As such I haven't really done anything besides ask for more affection and ask her if she thinks that she's more attractive than I. One time she was at a party and called me for a dd, I was a little upset for multiple reasons. She had work in the morning and she was locked out of her house so she had to crash at my place for the night and rely on me for a ride. Either way I called her to let her know I was outside and she picked up the phone and I thought she moaned. Almost instinctively I asked her if she was f#cking someone else. She of course denied it and I had a long night of trying to babysit a drunk girl on my hands but that's about the only insane thing I've done.
But I am going to record it next time thank you
He’s lacks emotionally intelligence and regulation and critical thinking. He’s immature, insecure and doesn’t value your concerns enough to reflect and change. I’m fact, he outright dismisses them. He’s a 32 year old man—he should posses and practice these skills; it’s basic shit for a healthy relationship!
Redditor moment that’s why lmao
This man is not safe. He ignored your boundaries and straight up assaulted you, and he will do it again. He's not even sorry about it. Please please break up with him and stay safe.
Amen.
Tell him “Calm down Chris Chan”.
Tho tbh that's straight up weirdo behavior to just say that out of nowhere unprompted.
Honest question: why do you want to work things out with this guy?
He should want to work it out with you, but he clearly doesn't want to. Don't chase him. Let the door hit him on the way out
at your wedding you get to pick who goes, so its up to you, but be careful if you do invite her, maybe dont leave her around your soon to be husband alone,,,