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Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
I ran into the same problem with my wife early in our relationship when she found out I was watching porn (ah the 90's when clearing browsing history was not really a thing LOL). anyway, long story short, men will always have fantasies about what they do not have (coveting) or fantasies they will never get to act upon. Porn is an outlet to getting this out our system.
I love my wife as I am sure your BF loves you, but you should never compare yourself with a screen photo and it's rarely the case that men look in order to replace their current relationship.
Porn is also very dangerous in the sense that it could become an addiction and affect your life/sex life.
Unfortunately it is not uncommon for men to leave when their female partner is diagnosed with an illness. At least you are finding out now, instead of after.
And while an autoimmune diagnosis sucks (I say this as a person with an as yet unidentified autoimmune illness, still testing), it's better than learning you have a serious or terminal illness that you will need real care, but then he leaves.
One of my best friend's friends is splitting with her partner after a dual melanoma/breast cancer diagnosis because he will not stop hounding her for sex, on top of not helping her at all, and even leaving her to do all of the childcare and home care still. This is unfortunately not the first time I've seen something like this play out.
Having my own health struggles has certainly helped me sort those men out, though. And there are still some out there who take in sickness and in health very seriously.
Smart move OP. I ope your Master's goes OK. Its messed up that you have to deal wit this at such an already stressfull time. But yeah, look out for yourself from here on, cos she sure does not have your back. Also, know that if you do stick together beyond this point, next time she will be using a burner. Good luck.
Not sure if you two are defined fwb's, or this is a girl who thinks she is dating you and you two never discussed parameters.
I feel that is going to make a big difference in your approach.
Anyways.
FWB response:
Hey, I know we talk about this before, and we agreed to be friends with benefits.
I think we need to revisit that conversation.
As of right now, I can tell that you're getting attached (thank you, I am flattered)… but if we're going to be FWB, we cannot get involved with each-other emotionally.
I don't want you to end up hurt because you developed feelings. We agreed to FWB, nothing more.
So, for now, I think its best we quit the sex until you squash it. And then we can maybe revisit this conversation later.
In saying that, we we're “FWB”… but friends comes first. Want to go grab a pizza?
It is a terrible feeling! I don’t know if I can look at her the same way again. I would never do that to someone in a relationship.
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How's that working out for you?
Not only that she wouldn’t even be privy to the information you discussed without your consent.
I’m surprised I had to scroll so far to see this mentioned. VERY interested to know how long OP has been married to this rapist.
I’m a woman, and what she did is rape. I’m so sorry. Please cut her loose.
I’m sorry but this relationship has run its course and it’s time to move on.
Prior to this job, did you quit the last one for the same reason? Did you quit before having a job lined up?
To be clear, I’m ultimately on your side here, but I want all the facts so that I can give you the most accurate advice.
The short answer is it doesn't matter
Abuse is abuse. It doesn't matter if it's autism or her just being an asshole, you're under no obligation to tolerate it.
Fuck yeah OP. Huge props to you. This is what any parent should do.
That is a tough one to answer.
I ran into the same problem with my wife early in our relationship when she found out I was watching porn (ah the 90's when clearing browsing history was not really a thing LOL). anyway, long story short, men will always have fantasies about what they do not have (coveting) or fantasies they will never get to act upon. Porn is an outlet to getting this out our system.
I love my wife as I am sure your BF loves you, but you should never compare yourself with a screen photo and it's rarely the case that men look in order to replace their current relationship.
Porn is also very dangerous in the sense that it could become an addiction and affect your life/sex life.
Unfortunately it is not uncommon for men to leave when their female partner is diagnosed with an illness. At least you are finding out now, instead of after.
And while an autoimmune diagnosis sucks (I say this as a person with an as yet unidentified autoimmune illness, still testing), it's better than learning you have a serious or terminal illness that you will need real care, but then he leaves.
One of my best friend's friends is splitting with her partner after a dual melanoma/breast cancer diagnosis because he will not stop hounding her for sex, on top of not helping her at all, and even leaving her to do all of the childcare and home care still. This is unfortunately not the first time I've seen something like this play out.
Having my own health struggles has certainly helped me sort those men out, though. And there are still some out there who take in sickness and in health very seriously.
Smart move OP. I ope your Master's goes OK. Its messed up that you have to deal wit this at such an already stressfull time. But yeah, look out for yourself from here on, cos she sure does not have your back. Also, know that if you do stick together beyond this point, next time she will be using a burner. Good luck.
Not sure if you two are defined fwb's, or this is a girl who thinks she is dating you and you two never discussed parameters.
I feel that is going to make a big difference in your approach.
Anyways.
FWB response:
Hey, I know we talk about this before, and we agreed to be friends with benefits.
I think we need to revisit that conversation.
As of right now, I can tell that you're getting attached (thank you, I am flattered)… but if we're going to be FWB, we cannot get involved with each-other emotionally.
I don't want you to end up hurt because you developed feelings. We agreed to FWB, nothing more.
So, for now, I think its best we quit the sex until you squash it. And then we can maybe revisit this conversation later.
In saying that, we we're “FWB”… but friends comes first. Want to go grab a pizza?