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Ruby Fiera, 27 y.o.
Location: London, United Kingdom
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I do, too! If it's alright with you, I'm gonna message you.
She does. As does my own. But they can't see it that way. ??‍♀️??‍♀️ and it sucks, but at the end of the day, all you can do is love her son and live a happy life with him. If she can't appreciate that, that's her own problem.
Because I feel I deserve a response, face to face is even better, so.
Just remember you'd only give him a chance to do it again. Otherwise you're just believing that a grown adult doesn't understand what yes or no means. He's already shown how he responds to you saying no. He's already shown that he'd rather cry and throw up after taking intimate pictures of you rather than ask first. Continuing this relationship would convey that he can keep doing these things and just apologize after. Break up.
I broke up with my ex a week before his birthday. I thought really nude about it and I knew that if I waited I would always make excuses to stay in the relationship. If the feelings aren’t there you should just do it before you keep making excuses not to.
You'll want to take some time and figure out what you want to do here before confronting him.
The largest decision is going to be, do you believe this is something you can reconcile or not?
With a relationship this long and two teenage kids, the trauma you're going to experience is significant. It's going to take years to recover…along with tons of therapy for everyone.
Take a peep at r/SupportforWaywards and r/AsOneAfterInfidelity to get an idea of what you can expect from both of you in regards to the path to reconciliation.
If you decide reconciliation isn't for you, then divorce is pretty much the only path left unless you're willing to open the marriage (which, is extremely difficult to do under these circumstances and nearly always fails).
Based on my experience, if divorce is going to happen here, it's best to get your plan in order and consult an attorney prior to confronting him. This way you know what to expect and what you're doing beforehand. It will make a big difference for when the confrontation happens she emotions flare.
In most states, it doesn't matter that he was cheating and it won't have any effect on the outcome of the divorce though.
I'm really sorry you're having to face this, especially in the midst of the holidays too.
Be direct. Hinting, signaling, implying, and waiting is you not taking responsibility for your own happiness.
Better to be temporarily embarrassed than to potentially waste time hanging on to and hoping for something that may not even exist. Tell him. If you get rejected, now you know and can seek that connection elsewhere.
How a person handles a no says a lot about their character.
And the fact that you even think she might sabotage your life makes me wonder why you are even dating someone you don't trust?!
This is something that should be disclosed before sex. If you feel as though a very large part/majority of the population would not consent, and feel violated given the fact of something, you should tell them, anything else is borderline nonconsensual, though only borderline. Not telling someone of an STD will make people feel shitty and worry about their health, not telling someone about what you were born as will make them feel violated. One is arguably less consensual.
I would hope that even if their bond grows to exceed your bond with him that they are both decent people who would not exclude you. Also, my primary worry is that your fear of being left behind is going to result in behavior that makes them want to leave you behind!
So insecure.
She’s definitely secretly cheating on you. That’s why she posted it to her public social media where you could see it
C’mon man
He doesn’t sound supportive at all.