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I feel like it’s unappreciative because he was never going to receive more than the main gift (which I verified was to his liking).
I know it’s a minor change that isn’t minor to him and I understand that but this a bonus gift that I accidentally spilled the beans on. I educated my mom but both my fiancé and I are aware that she has problems differentiating between details and will often even wear clothes the wrong way because of it. I understand him and his preferences because I am an extremely picky person (he agrees) but if the roles were reversed I couldn’t possible imagine reacting the same way, his whole demeanor changed and he became cold. I already got my mom to alter the her surprise gift in the kindest way I could. I actually took charge of it entirely, to make him happy because it’s his birthday and I adore him. I would’ve done my best to get ALL the gifts right regardless of how he reacted, cold, warm, gentle, or rude. I promise I understand him, I just feel like my mom’s effort went unappreciated.
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but we already rushed and it's really hard to go back to the starting point…
“Can anyone explain why she won’t when I need it?”
Because she has financial sense and you have a less than stellar track record. You traded in the first car after less than a year (why?!) and you totaled another. Now you’re trying for a 3rd car you can’t afford on your own. You need to stop buying things beyond your means. If you have a job you can get a car but you are clearly trying to get more than you can afford if you need a co-signer and that is just stupid. Sounds like your girlfriend is trying to maintain her credit score and co-signing with you is not going to help. You’re not entitled to her credit just because you were unwise enough to add her name to a house she contributed nothing to.
I have a life coach and have been to therapy. I’m I kinda busy. My brothers and I thought of an apartment but then she will be alone. She can’t drive and needs us.
Has she had a change in her mental state since you met?
Yes my mom is aware and her advice is basically “keep your distance”. I have a pretty regular schedule I like to workout about 3-430 that way when I get home usually everyone else is home or almost home. I typically cook dinner for my family. If my mom has to work late well then I basically just know that I’m gonna be stuck in my room all night
Sounds like they need to be put on an information diet so they don’t have any reason to make such comments.
He can in fact fuck all the way off with his stupid “test”!!! wtf!! Is he ten! The bf acts like hes ten!
Agreed. I guess I feel like losing my best friend is a bit of an overreaction… We've talked a lot about this over the past few days and it's clear there are deeper issues that have existed longer than I've even known my friend. I can see a future where the fundamental problem is fixed and I can keep both my friend and my wife, but maybe I'm just living in a fairy tale ?
Yep, I met one of my best guy friends on a dating app and we started out as a fwb thing. Mutually agreed that wasn't working and it turned into a close friendship, because we deeply care for each other, just not in a physical sense. Since then we have shared rooms and even a bed, but nothing has ever happened.
The thing is though, I went to therapy for this, they know this. And if he doesn’t want to do that, fine. But we were friends before. I’m okay with just being friends
He’s an alcoholic showing increasing levels of anger and abuse.
Do you think he’s suddenly going to turn into a perfect sober partner without putting any work into it? Not to mention he has to WANT to get help. Doesn’t sound like he does.
Leave now. Why waste your money getting married only to have to waste more money on a divorce when he hospitalises you, when you can just walk away relatively easily and for free now?
Don’t succumb to the sunk cost fallacy. You’re a long time dead.
Which means he is twice as likely to never move. He will still want there to be with his siblings. Particularly so if the mother is neglectful.
“Your kid will end up in jail one day if you don't get him therapy. I'm leaving before he kills me.” should suffice.