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Well, that's where you need to start, follow him, so you can see who he follows. He may only be following her because he knows her and wants to help her do well on Insta.
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“”””accidentally”””
Then this is where I kind of went snooping
Riiiiiiiiiiiight… sure sounds like an accident that after he'd done his initial snooping, he decided to snoop more. Whoopsie!
So who do YOU imagine during sex when you need the mental stimuli to keep going?
I know a lot of people fantasize about others during sex but… you know some of us don't, right? What flashes through my mind is all the dirty deviant shit I want to do with my wife.
I had the same thought
There are all sorts of things that can lead to this. My wife's extreme weight gain was also at the same time as a loss of sex drive, but it also surrounded an entire personality change for her. Like, I was dating a completely new person two years later. 20 years later, I still don't know what caused it, although I have my suspicions. I also lived through years of her telling me she was working on it and it would be better, if only I did this and that, or once so-and-so was behind her. No matter what I did, or how settled things were, she never came back.
It's possible there is something lurking behind the scenes. Trauma I possible. Or it could be that she's realizing that she's 25 and engaged. I married my wife when she was 23 (I was 30). We should not have gotten married. It caused her to give up everything she wanted to do in her life, and I don't think she ever got over it.
Why are you even putting yourself in this mess?
Seriously though, what kind of behavior were you expecting from a dude who already had a girlfriend when he started dating you? Because this is exactly the kind of behavior you get when you date guys who already have girlfriends.
Drunk driving can be a mistake. Most people have had a drink or two and then thought they were ok to drive because it was literally only one or two drinks. That’s all it takes to be drunk and I know plenty of people that have gotten DUI from literally 1 or 2 drinks. Lots of people can have 1 or 2 and not show it but they’d blow over .08 if stopped.
I'm glad that you're looking at this but I urge you to think about what works for you and what doesn't rather than relying on outsiders' views of what is OK or not.
I do think that you've lost your sense of standards.
There is just no reason to stick around for this.
I've read in another comment that he didn't try to cancel the date. Which is a good sign. I don't think you are overreacting. That's awful behaviour coming from a friend. It looks like she is trying to get with your boyfriend, but he doesn't see it.
My advice is to be completely open about it. Just tell him you saw the message on the phone while you tried to play the game he suggested. Talk it out, or else it will always come back.
Oh my god run. This is such a degrading way for him to treat his partner I don’t even know where to start. It’s like the guys who expect sex on the first date in exchange for dinner, but on steroids as this is a daily norm. I can all but guarantee you this man looks down on women and believes he is in the right to ask this of you because you have a certain “role” and “duty” to him.
OP, this is unhealthy, disrespectful, manipulative, and degrading. It is also NOT normal. Please rid yourself of this man ASAP and stop “rewarding” (ick) his misogynistic behavior.