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Your brother is a pedo and a rapist. He should be in jail for the rest of his life for what he's done. There is a clear constant pattern to his actions. He will not change. He will not stop. He will keep on hurting children. He should go to jail.
Flip the script – what if he’s trying to do extra OT to save for something – car, house, dates, presents…. You should just talk to him about his motivation, whether it’s mandated or voluntarily picking up shifts.
…am I doing it on purpose then?
Oh! Skunk.
Setting boundaries is all good and dandy. Doesn’t matter though if you don’t stick to them.
Please do not make any rash decisions like others have so far expressed…
This is honestly something that is going to require a good amount of positive communication and most likely the involvement of a professional therapist or counselor.
I didn’t see any information on how active she is in practicing her faith and where she goes to attend religious services. But that could be part of the problem, as some “spiritual leaders” are the worst examples of leaders let alone spirituality (in my experience).
I would sit down with her and reaffirm you beliefs about homosexuality and sin with her. Let her know it’s okay to share her fears, anxiety, etc with you her husband. Have an honest conversation and help her work towards a healthier place, again with the help of professionals as needed.
A nice piece of scripture that ties into this is Hebrews 10:24-25
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds
not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”
So for 6 years you just let this guy have you whenever he wanted you, zero commitment etc and you’ve caught feelings. Sorry OP but it sounds as if you were used for convenience.
Okay, thank you for your answer, you're probably right
If it weren't for this major issue between them that broke all their trust and shattered all desire, would he be with someone he was happy with before that thing happened? It'd almost be weirder to say no. It's probably not particularly logical of you to be upset by. And it definitely wasn't fair of you to ask a questing you wanted an honest reply to and then get upset at him honestly answering your question. Should he lie to you or plead the fifth in future?
What you haven't mentioned is whether you've had a conversation about how much he brings up his ex. It clearly makes you feel insecure. Does he know? Have you asked him to reduce it? I assume they were together for a while, it's not that unusual if she's related to lots of things in his mind – but if he knew it bothered you, he could choose not to mention every time he thinks of her. It souilike ypu haven't complained – possibly even have slightly encouraged it – so he doesn't think there's an issue, and now he thinks you're upset out of the blue.