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I know for a fact one of my partner's friends has cheated on his girlfriend with a man. (Namely my bf's uncle) It will cause an UNGODLY fallout for my fella and the friend group if I tell her, but I feel awful for her. We aren't very close at all or I would have. If we ever break up perhaps I will tell, but i don't know. Sometimes it's best to let sleeping dogs lie. I'm so sorry for your situation rn.
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She just doesnāt know how youāre going to react to her declining to see you again. So, Iād advise you to just be friendly. Show her thereās no ill will, that youāre just a good dude living his best life.
Next time you see her just say something dumb like āholy fuck itās cold outside!ā Or ādamn did you see the sports team lost again?!ā Be friendly and disarming and yāall should go back to being nice to each other in the halls again soon.
She is overly attached and she is breaking you and that is not ok. I understand worrying about her mental health if you leave but honestly her mental health is her responsibility not yours. You can and will find someone if you leave. From what I can tell you seem like a good man who has a lot of love in his heart and is a sweet and caring person. I have never been in a relationship and Iām 29 so I can understand feeling like you wonāt find someone but I think you will. Also as someone who can be maybe to attached and a bit clingy as well even Iām not this bad yes I donāt like going places alone and I would want you to go with but I also need my alone time. I would tell you to get out the house and leave me alone for like 3 hours or something. Having some independent time away from each other is healthy and good for each other and is needed in a relationship or any relationship even a platonic one
If you canāt accept who she is, leave her.
Normally Iām in favor of 50/50 splits but there is an extreme income disparity between you both. $1k is half of your monthly income and not even getting to other bills yet. 50/50 only works if you both can survive comfortably on the arrangement. Either he needs to pay more or want less. If youāre at the point of buying a house together, maybe itās time to start viewing your incomes more if combined than separate? I donāt love that option but maybe in this situation itd be better.
What kind of medication kills libido?
I am 28M and have felt similar in relationships in the past. Usually when thereās a lul in intercourse frequency itās been due to my relationship not being healthy and on track. Iām not saying thatās the case for you though.
In the past I have had a conversation about mutual expectations and what I can do to improve. My partner was receptive and we worked on things together to get to a point where we both feel fulfilled and no one fills like itās a chore.
Have you sat down and told him your needs arenāt being met? Does he still find you attractive? If you initiate sex does he get turned on? What if you wear lingerie?
I personally believe you both should be willing to compromise. I will say having sex one time per month at 28 is probably well below average expectations.
I donāt think you should cheat but I also donāt think he should flat out deny you sex.
Lmao who would even consider staying with someone after learning this? Fucking gross lmao idc if Iām being judgmental, Iād definitely think something was mentally fucked up with someone who could even consider doing something as disgusting as that lmao go to therapy
funny how u have the capability to assume how a person is from a single post, ur a genius.
I dated a guy who was 33 when I was 19 and in uni / grad school. He was immature AF but thankfully not controlling.
Limiting you talking to.men is controlling behaviour. You are allowed to have close friends and close male friends when you have a partner. I went to school with a tonne of boys. I'm married now to a guy 7 years older than me. I am still really close with all these guy friends. We meet up sometimes my husband comes sometimes he doesn't. He has never ever told me who I can and can't be in contact with. He never purposefully or “accidentally” looks at my messages.
We moved in together after 9 months because I was in a bad housing situation at the time BUT I had finished studying (I was not in school, and 24, and a qualified lawyer). I wouldn't reccomend moving on while you are studying because you have a bigger focus than this partner of yours.
Also you are a woman and we need to be alove to abuse. He's thrown up red flags in relation to abuse and controlling behaviour regarding your friends. If you live! together you will be less independent and have one less means of escape. I don't know whether he's a teacher or just someone you met randomly but there is a power dynamic here that he's exploiting.
Honestly I would leave him because I can't and won't be controlled and I wouldn't want to risk such an important year of my life on a childish man who is trying to exercise power over me.
But if you don't listen to that listen to this: keep some friends and family and tell them what's happening in your relationship at all times even if it's embarrassing and it hurts. If these people love you, listen to them when they give you advice. I'm just a stranger on the internet.
Good luck OP. I hope you don't move in and really look at this relationship.