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  1. No it doesn't. It sounds like one trait potentially associated with BPD. There are actually criteria for these things. Having these feelings, acknowledging them as irrational, and not acting on them isn't exactly classic BPD. Especially if she's late teens/early 20s.

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  4. But that's what boundaries are. If she doesn't listen to yours and she won't care for your feelings in this, it's when you get to decide how to behave in response. Are you going to let her violate your boundaries and feel resentment about it, or are you going to decide to say if he's going then I'm not going. Not in a mean, spiteful, punishment way – just she gets to make her choices and you get to make yours.

    If you don't go, she will be disappointed and maybe angry, but those are her feelings.

    I am from a very working class family that had no boundaries at all. My family didn't respond well to them at first, but I was reasonable, calm, and firm about where I was willing to compromise and where I wasn't. They get used to you changing, even if they don't like it, and then as the years have gone by, i honestly have the best relationships with my parents that I've ever had.

    But like with my dad, I put certain topics off limits and he would start talking about them. So I'd remind him I didn't want to talk about that and if he kept doing it, I would end the phone call or leave. I had to do that once. Not angry, because I didn't let myself get pushed to the point of anger. Just calmly – i said I didn't want to talk about this. I'm going to go now and we'll talk again soon. It didn't take long for him to respect that boundary (without talking about boundaries), and now I just enjoy him way more because I can talk to him about things we do connect on. And it's great.

  5. You need to tell her to stop telling you about her sexual past.

    You are her current, and hopefully future relationship.

    When you were getting to know each other and told each other about your pasts, that was the time to divulge that information, now to bring it up in conversation just because she wants to is disrespectful to you.

    And before I get all the comments saying it’s not disrespectful to have a past, I’m not saying that.

    The past is just that, the past. OPs wife has one. OP needs to get over his insecurities about it, but his wife should not be casually talking about her sexual past with OP unless that is a conversation they are both wanting to have. That is the disrespect.

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