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Your stepmother is ridiculous to hold a grudge over what you did as a teenager, especially when she was partially responsible for breaking your family. I’m sorry but if I were you I’d accept the “neither of [them]” happily. I think teenager-you is hilarious, and I hope my daughter grows into that kind of strong-willed young woman.
You should have sent the evidence to your phone so he can't lie to your friends later. I'd just text him and tell him it's over…if he wants to know why tell him the evidence is on his phone. Then don't discuss it further. You don't need to know why he did it because that's not gonna help you at all. You just need to leave and move on in heal.
Personally if it were me I would change my locks explain to my friends and my workplace what happened and I wouldn't even talk to him other than to say it's over. He doesn't need an explanation and I would actually enjoy the fact that he had no clue why I left.
Go and take the bike; when he tries to BS you, just say “Dad, just get the bike, I have a thing after this, I gotta go, I can't do this right now”.
Regardless of your bike, know that you'll never get the satisfaction you want out of shaming your father – he has no shame to give you. Your mom is the best example of all – he was 22, found a vulnerable young woman, and took advantage of that.
I mean… Are you telling me her being 16 was a coincidence or a mistake? He chose your teenage mother. Hell, if he could get away with it now, and a teenager wanted him now, he'd go for it, make no mistake. It's not a preference for younger women, it's a disgusting pattern.
He didn't just start cheating with the 20yo, he chose her. Hell, if he had the chance, I'm sure he started before she was 20.
Am I making accusations? Well, the shoe sure looks like it fits. That is what you're up against, a man who is clearly aware of what “dating” a teenager would look like, so he goes as low as possible so that he can maintain some semblance of respectability – people will roll their eyes but they won't call him a predator. Except… He is. He pursues only young women he can control and use and dispose of once they get too old.
I'm sorry to say, but he's never given a fuck about your relationship. Ever. Talking about his sex life, his penis? That's not a father, that's a groomer, it's like he was softening you up – for himself or someone else, which is disgusting to consider (but, he talked about his penis around his children, so).
Ultimately, all I can advise is to try and make peace about this with yourself. Perhaps therapy, but if not, write everything down, write pages, write notebooks-worth of your history, your childhood, everything you ever saw, heard and felt regarding your father – everything – and then read it all. Just read it like someone else wrote it, and truly consider why you want to be in this person's life, what have they offered as a father, as your primary male role model, as a trusted adult.
Then consider… This person, around your friends (who, sorry to say, he has creeped on), your children. He is not a safe person, and for the entirety of your life, he has, indeed, shown he's a dangerous entity in your life. He's poison, because he's a predator and thus a user, be will never change, and he will never care. Maybe one day he will because he'll need you or your brother, but he won't truly give a shit – so you have to started disengaging emotionally from him.
He will never stop because he can't, but I'm sure he also doesn't want to stop. Plan your life accordingly.
Mom here. Genuine questions: Does she text you asking you why you are at so and so area? Does is interfere with your life in any way?
She’s worried. You’re far away and bad shit happens to young women far too often. I understand your frustration but is it not worth giving her the peace of mind to just leave it? Will she text you a million times a day if you do? You are her heart walking around outside her body. Moms don’t stop being moms just because their kids grow up and move away.
Oh so he’s a liar. How fun!
Seriously, OP: he had every chance to be honest with you about this money and wasn’t. I hope you’re taking time to reflect on this before you move forward because this kind of lie would be a huge dealbreaker for me (a person who is privileged enough to not worry about money at present, thankfully) — it’s not the fact that the money is shared with his brother, it’s that he lied to you about it. That’s extremely fckt up and a huge red flag.
You need a new girlfriend.