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your wife is abusing you. regardless of all that has gone on she is abusing you. please go and bring this up to a therapist, or take a break. I know you don’t want to separate but for your own sake please don’t stay with her. grief does not make some abusive
I think sometimes that's what happens. He just agrees like, “ofc i want to marry you” etc. I really appreciate this idea. I will definitely talk to him about it so I can make sure we're on the same page.
Especially when he has kids.
This is definitely something you need to give serious consideration to. The bottom line is that he either gets very involved in this kid's life, including paying child support, or he's a deadbeat loser. There's just no other path for him. It's a lot for any of his potential romantic partners to consider. Not everyone is going to be capable of dealing with this situation. Because if he's doing right by his child his future life partner will have to function as a stepparent going forward (because visitation). If you decide you're up to the challenge you might get involved in some of the live! step parenting support groups. It won't be easy, but maybe he's worth it. Only you can decide.
All the red flags aren’t actually an invitation. Leave her amicably, and maybe revisit it later when you both grow.