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Well a religious cult is not socialist since, as I said previously, socialists take religion with a heavy pinch of salt (and communists are complete atheists).
Hippie communes are not socialist either, sorry. They were far messier than that. Hippies were all peace and love, eschewing consumerism. Socialism does not eschew consumerism. Socialism is about making sure that even the poor have access to stuff.
Yeah, you’re probably right. Although my guess is (and I’m only guessing here) that they are tired of being hassled and are running out of excuses.
That is way past what is acceptable. How would she like you going away drinking and sleeping with a girl.
End it with her as she obviously wants this other guy, so let him have her. Only way you could even think of staying with her is NC with the other guy
I think it’s clear that this friendship isn’t working for you. You give. She takes. I think friendship is a real gift and she’s not treating it as such.
This has to be a troll. The Op’s girlfriend works 34 hours, and studies and does the bulk of the housework AND has two autoimmune diseases but this guy won’t make his own bed?
Ya that sounds like a recipe for success
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Hi guys, I'm planning to see my therapist in a couple of weeks to discuss the subject matter but I just want to hear some outside perspective for a moment, perhaps from someone who's maybe has been in a similar situation.
I've been in a serious relationship with my partner for four years. We on-line together, aren't married, no kids. We met relatively young but we both dated around a lot and such and pretty quickly realized we were a good match. Overall, we've definitely had issues but we have stable communication and a loving supportive relationship. We're pretty much on the same page about various essential aspects of life as a couple, such as finances, children, etc.
My partner has a brother with a physical disability. He is a wheelchair user that can't move to and from the wheelchair without assistance. His mental state is not impacted by anything so he has a remote job, etc. Ever since he's been born my partner's parents have been taking care of him without any extra help. It seems like they didn't “believe” in paying someone to help them with these “family matters” so that was not an option for them based on their personal values. One of their parents has passed away a couple of years ago so lately only my partner's mom was helping the brother with his daily life. Now mom is getting older and her health is also declining so my partner wants to move in his brother with us.
We do not own an apartment/a house, we both have pretty good incomes but so far we're only able to rent. My partner also doesn't feel like he can just hire a professional to come help his brother, it has to be family. He has brought up this request recently and we've discussed it thoroughly. He even said that he'll understand if I want to break up with him considering that I'm a person who loves their independence, their personal space, etc. But I really don't want to end our relationship and, at the same time, I know that it will be challenging for us to no longer have a place that's fully ours as a couple where we don't need to compromise with anyone and have another adult who needs our help there.
So far, we've agreed on a couple of things:
We've agreed that when the brother will need to move in, we'll find a two-bedroom apartment. This was something I insisted on because I strongly believe that in order for this to work, we will need a room that's ours and a separate room for his brother + shared space where we can host friend gatherings and such
We've agreed that we'll try our best to prioritize each other when needed and spend time alone as a couple. That we'll still try to keep our relationship fun and adventurous, etc.
We've agreed that we'll go to therapy if things get too challenging or we feel the need too
We've agreed to get occasional professional assistant ie when we want to go away for a trip or something
It seems ok but I'm honestly scared. I love him very much and I definitely get along well with his brother, I just don't know how this is going to work. Deep down, I don't want to deal with this, I just want to be a normal young-ish couple who has their space and enjoys life. But I also value him and our relationship so much, I have zero desire to break up. Any insight and opinions appreciated.
Tldr: partner wants us to live together with his brother who has a disability and needs care and I don't know if I'll be able to handle it.
Edit: the brother doesn't really know what he wants because he wasn't raised even remotely independently, they have never explored options that may allow him to on-line a life separately from his family. I do strongly support him being able to advocate for himself and will try to encourage this on whatever I can as a non-family member. It may sound crazy the way they're living but we're from Eastern Europe and while it's definitely possible to on-line a normal adult life as a wheelchair user, most families, especially in small towns and villages just don't know that it can be done that way. This is the case here, I don't think they maliciously didn't teach their son to be independent despite his physical limitations, they just kind of accepted that it's the only way.
They're all puffed up with their own self importance. I work with people that got scholarships and graduated from the top universities in the world and they know how to treat other people with respect. I'm talking about people who got first class honors in maths from Oxford etc. They know their worth is more than their IQ.
Yet you stay with him?
What’s the common denominator here?