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I've seen a number of other commenters mentioning this. When you're young, you haven't experienced enough friendship or romance yet. Teenagers want to be in love. When you're older, yourself and the people around you will be more experienced with those feelings and will be able to discern what you want from individual people instead of shooting your shot with all of your friends at once.
You don't have to be “old and wrinkly” to have male friends. You don't have to seek out gay friends. You just need to weed through the bad friends until you find some with emotional maturity. The older you are, the more friends you've been through and the good ones will have stayed
I forgot to clarify that when I was 21 and cheated I didn’t have sex, it was foreplay. I couldn’t actually bring myself to sleep with the other person. I know it doesn’t make any of it better.
OP – what did she say when you confronted her? Has she admitted to cheating?
?
Do you even like her? From everything you’ve written here it doesn’t seem like you even really want to be with her.