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23, you could and will find a better gf. she cheated on you even if she admits to fucking them then says its nothing because they're in a relationship together. its still cheating(if she tries using this excuse tell her to fuck off). my advice is if she did cheat leave her because if you forgive her (which you wont and the images of her being porked by another man will run in your head and kill attraction toward her) then chances are she will lose a ton of respect for you and in the future probably contact that couple again. some girls get head spun when they get used and treated like meat sexually and its addictive. sexually desensitized. think of it like this. youre getting drunk on whine coolers and shes getting fucked up on oxys. these are just my thoughts obviously i dont know the extent of your relation. find out n consider your options and for god sakes think about your needs not your wants. we all want to fix a relation with the ones we care for but sometimes its best to move on for your sake and hers.
You seem to have a problem with your self esteem. Love yourself first.
Start by not being a selfish prick, would be a fantastic idea. So she's post partum, still dealing with all the hormone changes and bullshit that come with that. Trying to take care of a tiny human being who requires constant care and attention. And at the end of the day when she's exhausted, sleep deprived, stressed. She doesn't immediately service your every need, so you want to end the relationship?
I hope you do, she deserves better than you.
So if you're looking for real advice, do the work to lighten her load and make her feel like more than an incubation chamber and online in maid. Might make a difference.
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It ain't ticking at 38, a klaxon is going off and the silo doors are open
Well I have no way of knowing why (probably scared because girl he was cheating with didnt know so if you got her socials you may message her that he cheated on you with her) but I would say better for you, take this chance and move on from him completely
You are barely in your thirties breaking your back to drag along an controlling, ungrateful single mother and her various offspring. That alone makes you more of a catch than you realize. It means you are a loyal and caring provider, but you have found someone that zeroed in on you to exploit your good nature. Only someone with very low self-esteem would tolerate your situation. And it this point you have a shortening window to run. God forbid she gets pregnant and you are tied to her for life. We all have that brow beaten male friend in their forties that made all the wrong decisions with the wrong woman. Don't be that guy.
What “just in case” tests are you okay with your partner putting you through just to make sure you’re not a horrible, cheating liar? Full access to your phone? Hiring a PI? Annual lie detector test? The reason women get offended is that a request for a paternity test is an accusation of cheating. If she has never given any reason for you to suspect she is unfaithful, other than being unfortunate enough to get knocked up by you, then why is it okay to make her prove her fidelity? Yes, yes men raise children that aren’t theirs all the time. Well men channel money away from their legitimate families to their secret second families all the time too, yet you wouldn’t be okay with women pulling out the stops to make sure he isn’t doing it “just in case”.
While I agree, grief is messy. Let’s not add to the shame.
You do not get a pass on your reaction imo you did go too far. You are downplaying how cruel you were to your gf and still seem to think it was justified bc it was once. This was not okay.
This is true – if my friend told me this about their bf, I would be furious. I am furious about it and mad for myself.
We practically on-line together at this point anyway and buying rather than renting just seemed to make the most sense considering he already owns his own home (which is too small for me to fully move in to), and I'm in a position to buy property by myself. We didn't see the point in us both owning separate properties, paying two mortgages, and running back and forth between each other's places. However, with the current state of things I don't think buying property together is on the cards at the moment, and I would be hesitant to reconsider until we're at least engaged as you said (provided this situation is ever resolvable).
This is true – if my friend told me this about their bf, I would be furious. I am furious about it and mad for myself.
We practically live together at this point anyway and buying rather than renting just seemed to make the most sense considering he already owns his own home (which is too small for me to fully move in to), and I'm in a position to buy property by myself. We didn't see the point in us both owning separate properties, paying two mortgages, and running back and forth between each other's places. However, with the current state of things I don't think buying property together is on the cards at the moment, and I would be hesitant to reconsider until we're at least engaged as you said (provided this situation is ever resolvable).