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Your husband should man up and accept the fact that your body was not the same when you were pregnant and it is not the same after giving birth. He should also understand that you are the mother of a baby, also his child, and that taking care of a baby is naked work. A word of appreciation and encouragement would go a long way.
Your husband is also impatient. He does not understand that your child will not be an infant forever. He/she will grow up quickly and things will change likely for the better.
All that said, what did you mean when you wrote you “got pregnant”? Was this pregnancy not planned? How do you know you and him were “soulmates”? Could his behavior be resentment resulting from the fact that he didn't feel that way deep down when you accidentally got pregnant? Or is this just immaturity on his part?
Yeah. 🙁
She said she had moved on and is ready to date while constantly talking about her ex and needing something easy and uncomplicated?? Yeah, she hasn't moved on at all. Get out.
the way I see it is that he just wants to be with someone who matches his lifestyle of fitness and health.
Come on now. If that's what he wanted he could have stayed with you and done it together. You know he's a dick and that he'll leave you for anything. Do you really feel safe and stable in a relationship like that? Someone who only values you as long as you're under a certain weight?
She says (and I think) she’s been monogamous to me. But the reality is that we’re never certain they are.
That’s not an open marriage. That’s an affair. Have some self respect and kick her ass out, get a lawyer, and get divorced.
She doesn’t owe you shit, my dude. It’s on you to sort yourself and move forward. Therapy would help you do this.
Don't do anything until you work this out with your counselor.
Don't do it. This is how sex trafficking starts. He'll start adding more and more guys and threaten you with violence if you try to leave.
From what I gathered from your post and comments:
At some point she was black out drunk, either from drinking alone, or possibly drugged. Her losing track of time and not answering her phone makes sense if she is in that state, as does you worrying that you cant get a hold of her or find her. Black out drunk or drugged her “friends” let a man take her with him to his place, not helping you out when you came looking for her. Your GF have since dropped these friends.
The next morning she contacted you, aksed for directions from the guy and came home. I get why being able to ask for directions seems weird or suspicious. I also think that waking up in the state you described, at a strangers home, not remembering anything, not knowing what happened or going on, trying to process, its easy to either be in shock, or fawn/friend to stay safe while you get out.
She was walking funny, she went to the hospital for an SA kit and reported it to the police. The people at the hospital said she had injuries that could match up with SA. She wanted to tell the police alone, later telling you the story was a bit different than what she had originally told you. I get that changing the story seems suspicious. I also get being confused, being scared that she wont be believed, being scared that she'll be blamed. She could have kept up lying to the police as well, so you wouldnt have found out, but she didnt.
You also question someone dragging her 25 minutes to a different location. Someone being black out or drugged doesnt equate to needing to be dragged. I've been the sober friend quite a few times, some of them you wouldnt have guessed it at all.
Between everything you stated, I personally believe her. She told you, she was physically hurt, she got a kit done, she made a report, when her story changed she wanted the police to have it right even when it ment you would know it was different, she dropped the friends. However, you're the one with her, if you cant believe her and cant shake the doubt, then you cant. You didnt expand so much about other questionable or suspicious things she have done that make you question her even with all the other info about this situation, so its hot to know if you have other reasons that makes it hard for you to belive her even with all the info from this situation.
At the end of the day, if she was SAd and you cant trust her or fully believe her, I dont think its healthy to stay in the relationship. Most SA survivors question and doubt themsleves enough as it is, having a partner not believe them on top can make healing really hot. If she did lie and was willing to go this far to cover up cheating, she is not a healthy partner to you and you should leave. If you do or want to believe her, it seems like you need professional help navigating how to get there, both individually and together. Feeling like you cant have your feelings or suspicons probably leads to surpressing them and letting them fester, maybe even growing frustrated and feeling emotionally neglected? It sounds like help from a professional in, a space where you can get that out and talk it out, is a good idea regardless of how you move forward.
It’s new to me!
Yes. I don’t want to deal with other people in our relationship. I’ve made it very clear if we have any issues we can resolve them, but once you bring anyone else into the equation then it’s much different
I am sorry but both my girlfriend as well as ex girlfriend are doing well and I was talking about an argument I had with my girlfriend and wanted advice on this. I am not sure what kind of trigger warning I should have put?
Must I put that I am talking about a fight in s relationship?
Im 45 male and I'm going to go ahead and be real straight honest with you I know what you're going through because I lived it I know how you feel I understand that you must have done something that was at one point not pleasant I live! that I'm heterosexual I like girls I do not do guys but I understand what you mean when we trying to satisfy the other part of ourselves because we care and love them but honestly I'm the kind of person that when at the end of the sexual relation or making love it all depends I like to be with the woman that I shared that moment and a caring way and thanking her for letting me enjoy this pleasure with her because if a woman says no it's no but if she says yes it's gonna be a yes and then we can indulge ourselves in the pleasure that brings sex or making love it depends into the moment I understand that you do not want to have any more relations with your husband and it's fair because to share one's body with somebody it's not something that must not be acknowledged at the end because it's not easy at one point or another to take the decision of sharing yourself to someone whether it be a couple a girlfriend boyfriend husband wife lover or whatever it's not easy to take that decision because we do know because we are adults that engaging in this type of activities can have consequences that range from unwanted pregnancies or diseases or whatever you know they're a lot of things that could happen wrong but that's when you're with somebody that's s stranger in your life and at one point we do forgive that they're cold at the end because there's no emotion it's only pleasure of the body but when the heart is applied to the equation if you do not acknowledge at the end and give thanks by comforting your lover your spouse or your girlfriend boyfriend that is not fair we are not sexual objects unless we really want to be we are human beings with feelings I know this sounds weird coming from a guy but I do acknowledge that we also can love we also can feel for someone and to make love or have sex with somebody that you care with it's special I don't mind if somebody doesn't agree but it's a very positive thing to end the relation ship of sex with a hug being caring with the person that you have shared a special moment because when you do not have that special person in your life and it's only because you're horny or whatever it's not very satisfying and that is what sometimes we on-line but it must not be the standard in a relationship where there's love a commitment and you're sharing a life I wish you well and I really hope that your man acknowledges what you do for him because it's clear to me that you really love him and you try to make this relationship work I hope my opinion helps you