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Birth Date: 2001-02-14
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Subculture: subcultureHipster
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Is this someone you want to have kids with?
A lot of them do it too! With or without a dog.
He‘s 42. He’ll be fine. He’s manipulating you. If he needed you that much he wouldn’t be smoking in the house.
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That's what I tried to address, though. The issue is that the guy in this post is making a lot of mis-steps that I think a kind and caring person wouldn't ever make, and no one wants to (or should have to) teach him to care if the other person is having fun.
But if you're in a relationship with someone who cares about you, and you're a kind and caring person who cares if they're having a good time (including outside of sex), then you're much less likely to run into this.
Now if you're going for hookup culture and your opening line is “hi I'm a virgin,” you might have some problems. But if you look for a relationship and maybe don't include that as your opening line (but obviously still mention what you think is relevant once it becomes relevant) – you'll probably do fine.
She's allowed to set her boundaries. If you don't want to adhere to them then you don't have to be in the relationship
I’m sorry you had to go through that. I know how it feels. Takes a bit of work to improve but it’s worth it especially if you and your partner make it a point to practice doing so.
You brought it up. You are doing the side tracking. You're also a hypocrite.
I think that's something you should talk to a couple's counselor about, as well as an individual therapist for both of you. I also wouldn't get married until you're both on the same page.
That's great, but you aren't coping well. Your bf has repeatedly told you he's not going to help, I don't see what communicating with him will do. It's up to you to figure out a way to cope with this dog or make sure it goes to a loving home. Sorry OP, that seems to be your only options right now.
She’s cheating on you. Note how you go on a break yet she continues to do the one thing that is causing all the trouble, seeing NF.
Bin her, keep the dog and go complete NC. Watching her get together with NF in front of you will only keep you in pain, believe me, I have been there and know it.
I think you are absolutely right, thank you.
I have horrible, horrible retroactive jealousy
You really, REALLY need to work seriously on this in the form of therapy or changing your current therapist if you already are. This is not a good personality for your own mental health, but also for you (future) partner's mental health.
Everything you have written here is toxic, manipulatieve (making him feel the need to have certain emotions to please you) and in my opinion even abusive.
Confirm the messages are in fact coming from him.
Get access to his phone, or check your detailed billing from your cell service provider, to verify it is really him messaging her. If it is, there needs to be an ultimatum (at the least) that he stop all contact. Or, if it is really him, find the best 'scorched earth' divorce lawyer you can find. Because if it is him, you have insight to the level of harassment and abuse he's capable of committing.
But, you need to verify that it really is him first, just so you don't prematurely end your marriage over another person's ruse.
A trial would be public record. If he was “acquitted,” he went to trial, and if you know what county(ies) he lived in, you can do some research on-line.
It could be a case of a crazy ex making unfounded accusations to try to ruin him, or it could be a technicality case.
Him not saying anything for 2 YEARS is a big damn deal though.
Sexist, how, sorry?
The average house in all of Canada is 1.5 mil? What?
Bro, your wife has a boyfriend. You are literally paying for her to stay home and do whatever she wants with this dude.
It is clear as day, you need to open your eyes. You are being naive, and she is gaslighting you.
Sounds like for her it was over, but you weren't sure. Just end it permanently and move on. You're gonna be moving in like a month or so anyway. Long distance is hard on long established couples. It's even worse when you've only been dating for a few months.
You leave or stay but be at peace with your choice. You decide how you wanna on-line. Life ain't fair you gotta put in work with whatever decision you decide to make just be sure your content with it.