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Model from:
Languages: en
Birth Date: 1995-03-07
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureHousewives
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This is as a result of childhood trauma
More often the guy? I don’t think that’s the case…
You don’t have many options. The camera was a great idea. If this man is going to become a problem then you need proof. Hopefully he’s just nosy because you are new to the neighborhood. All you can do is wait and see. If you see him when you are outside just give a friendly wave. Keep an eye out and you may need more cameras. Hopefully not but be careful.
Hey. It was me. I was doing that.
…When I was 18. By 19 I understood that was stupid af.
BACKGROUND:
We met on vacation last year in august and she idealized me on the first day. She said I was beautiful, that she fell in love on first sight, wanted to buy tickets to see me in December. I felt a spark and her talking about love wooed me—I had never gotten such affection before, and I was already feeling like crap because of getting ghosted so it really filled an empty whole within me. She ended up being really clingy at first and getting mad at me if I didn’t respond promptly (she would double text emojis within 1 hr), complained about her physical health, told me she’s toxic and that she was in a toxic relationship, joked about marriage (don’t think it was jokes).
Anyways, I got devalued overtime. She would accuse me (jokingly) of being with other girls, told me she didn’t trust me because of a barrier in her heart to protect herself, and gaslighted me a couple times. Biggest argument in October resulted in her flat out changing permanently with me, telling me that she won’t be the same with me ever, stopped being affectionate (intentionally, at least she flat out told me), and told me I wasn’t her priority anymore, yet I stayed like a dog because I lacked self-respect. I had to apologize for silent treatment that she gave me (1 week), after I called her out for criticizing me (she told me not to text her if I’m busy, I said that although I’m busy I can text her and am doing so, and then she said that I complain I can’t manage my time yet say I can manage it so it’s illogical —if I knew how to be organized etc then I wouldn’t say those things. I called her out and said this was disrespectful and that I wasn’t going to discuss this further… she gave me silent treatment and I apologized. She ended up replying and saying: “hey x, I’ve been very busy and didn’t have time for this sort of stuff but that I wanted to respond to you.” And then the next day is angry and told me she wasn’t going to respond to me. She would always admit after I did something wrong, that “I wasn’t going to text you ever again”, etc.
Maybe I did say stuff out place when flirting, but it was mutual. In fact, she strung me a long. When we ended things in January and came back a week later, it was accidental. Her cat died and I replied to her story, just out of courtesy. I didn’t say I love you, wasn’t flirtatious, and kept the texting to a minimum, to show that I cared as a human/friend. The next day was my dad’s birthday. She replied to my story to wish my dad a happy birthday. I thanked her and she said: “of course. He was going to be my future father in law. Obviously I had to”. And then I confessed that I still liked her, and she said: “you still have feelings although we’re not talking? ?”. And then I asked her what she wants and she didn’t give me a clear answer: “I want my cat back”. She then proceeded to flirt with me, and joke about marriage: “when we’re married, I’ll show you this place”. She also called me her love, handsome, etc would say I love you after ghosting me. So yeah, It was always me that definitely said things “out of place” all the time…Was this gaslighting? And if so, why? It did question everything for me, like whether she did indeed feel things and if I did in fact misinterpret EVERYTHING. I reacted calmly and told her she’s right and proceeded by ending things without causing a fight. She said that “we talked about this before and now you’re seeing this and I’m glad” and “don’t worry, I wasn’t feeling hopeful/excited” when I said we can’t get our hopes up bc of the distance. It really felt like it was a defense mechanism, so I eased up by telling her it was due to distance etc and that love her and that if things are different in the future and I can offer her more, then destiny will tell. And she never said yes to my friendship. I even asked her what she thought about me offering her a friendship from my part and if things are different in the future then destiny will prevail, to which she had texted a ❤️ . If we were “friends” like she said, why didn’t she respond differently hm? Sounds like she was saying goodbye too.
I don’t even know if she has bpd but she has uncontrollable depression and anxiety, and idealized me and devalued me (also was clingy at the start of the relationship), joked about me cheating (she had a dream that I cheated on her), complained about physical health always (coughed fakingly as if to gain my sympathy). Acted like a child (had a child voice), would treat me like a child, yet also criticize me for acting like a child if I flirted in a “teenage way” and for not being independent like she wishes.
She cried to me on the second day saying she had to give away her dog to get better for me (it was her ex’s dog. And she has him to this day, never gave him away. When I asked her if she had given the dog away (I felt bad and told her not to give him away because they look happy together) a week after she told me she said— “I have him until the weekend, did you forget already? Lol”, wanted to buy tickets for us to see each other, wanted to immigrate to my country, stalked my profile and made a list of girls I potentially talked to, called herself toxic and complicated as a partner, silent treatment when mad, moody behaviour, had fights with her brother (talked bad about him), talked bad about her ex (his family hates her), wanted to get into a relationship with her upon meeting her (it was long distance), made me promise to always be honest with her, flipped out at me when I didn’t call her “love” in a text (I did but in a foreign language and she didn’t understand), reckless behaviour (drove while texting me. I told her to stop doing that), tried to make me jealous (made up a story of guys asking for her Instagram, showed me a love note that was given to her, talked about a celebrity crush), told me she doesn’t prioritize me because I didn’t respect her time (she felt that she couldn’t text when she wanted to) and flat out blamed me for stuff (like not planning our trip to see each other early before her dad’s office got robbed, etc.), she would respond rudely when I asked when we were going to see each other (x like I told you a thousand times, if things between us are meant to be then they’re meant to be. I can’t visit you. I could before but not now. I’m sorry if I sound cruel when I say this but I can’t do anything), has a lot of guy friends
If her card wasn't working…and it was like $30 and she said 'sorry, had to use your card, will pay you back' then OK.
But who the F is spending $300 on drinks for five people?? That's crazy.
Do you still feel like you're walking on eggshells around him sometimes? Does the fear of “what if he leaves” ever truly stop?
I’m clearly in the minority here but I also would want to know if my partner is still close with people they’ve had sex with. I wouldn’t want to be with someone that had fucked a bunch of their friends.
If he actually gave you facts on why he felt trump was a good president, maybe you two could work. But he spewed lies and things that just aren’t true in order to call him a good one. If he can believe Trump made the USA a better place, he probably doesn’t do much research before talking out of his ass.